


Painless Suffering

by Mimikyu_but_gay



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Kara is Kryptonian but not supergirl, Kelly Olsen is important, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Soulmates AU, no DEO AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:27:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 28,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26856667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mimikyu_but_gay/pseuds/Mimikyu_but_gay
Summary: Lena hasn't felt someone else's pain in a very long time. and she's fine with that. she's content living as a 100% independent person.Kara knows her soulmate is on earth. that's why she was sent here alone at 13 (and she's totally over that. she isn't hurt or mad at her parents at all). but she doesn't know who she is. she's been tirelessly looking and looking and looking.Who knew she would stumble upon her after her boss get's stuck in traffic and she has to fill her place?ORSoulmates AU where they feel each other's pain and Lena is convinced her soulmate died because she hasn't felt pain since she was 13. Kara isn't supergirl, but is Kryptonian.Prompt credit to @rcklsswrtr02 on twitter (from_a_recklesswriter on AO3)
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 337
Kudos: 1570





	1. Lena

**Author's Note:**

  * For [from_a_recklesswriter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/from_a_recklesswriter/gifts).



The way Lena sees it, love is not real.

At least, not in the romanticized way the entire world seems to be convinced it is. It’s an automatic chemical response to a specific person that the universe decided to tie to you at birth. Nothing more, nothing less. She never felt it, and she’s convinced no one ever or will ever feel it for her.

And, as far as she’s concern, that’s ok. She’s comfortable with her life. She was always fine without the need of love. Not from her family, not from friends, not from strangers.

Love is as pointless as believing in fairies and made people do stupid things. Things like moving across the country, across the world even, and leaving everything behind. Things like forego their own values and convert to weird religions they never even heard of. Things like awkward public proposals and humiliating sharing of affections.

She’ll never have that, she’ll never do any that. And she’s more than happy with that.

Some people don’t have a soulmate. Some people die young. That’s just the way life is.

That’s what happened to her. Her soulmate died when they were 13. A strong pang in her chest that lasted for hours and then nothing. Ever. According to her research, they either had a heart attack or died from stress after being in a jet for hours (she only recognized the latter due to a similar feeling years later, aboard the family jet). The former seems more likely.

It relived her to know that, whoever they are, they didn’t suffer much, physically at least. She remembers being uncomfortable, but compared to the horror stories she heard, they both had it easy. Tragic, for sure, no one deserves to die at 13, but if you had to go…

She got used to the idea. It took her a while, and a bit of therapy once she was an adult, but she was ok now. In fact, she learned to see it as a blessing. She would never be attached to anyone, never be the slave of someone else’s whims. She is fully and truly independent and, after years of imposed lifestyle, that’s a blessing in itself.

Her upbringing wasn’t too great. Her family weren’t bad people per say, as far as she knows, they never hurt anyone for the sake of it, but they weren’t any good either. They were rich, elitist and entitled and tried their hardest for her to become equally rich, elitist and entitled.

They manage the first part, at least. She is rich. Filthy rich. She’s the CEO of the biggest tech company in the country, and she managed to turn her late father’s powerful but small enterprises into an empire worth more than a small country’s GDP and as versatile and diverse as one.

Regarding the other… characteristics, well, let’s say her mother was somewhat happy that her daughter didn’t have a soulmate anymore. Lillian had been scared for who they might be, given the friendships she tend to make in school (most of which got promptly squashed by throwing money at the school to keep the kids separate, or even to the parents themselves) and her overall taste in hobbies and cloches. Her mother and brother were relentless, harsh and hard, dismissive of any and all feelings and preferences that didn’t fit their own. There was only one way to do things: their way. Any deviation was frowned upon and promptly punished. She had to be friends with the right kids, have the best grades, chose the right school subjects and hobbies, be overall perfect.

Of course, she had adapted to the expectations. She learned to please her mother, to be an engineer/business woman/CEO/public relations by the time she was 20. She was able to dress, smile and talk for any and all occasions. She could be a genius researcher and a business manager in the same night, often under the same conversation. She was able to persuade any investor, face any rival, charm any journalist. She improved technology, did philanthropy work, provided quality housing and jobs to as many people as she could. She managed to turn in record profits year after year for almost all her companies. She balanced the tumultuous, paranoid reputation her family had with the expectations set upon her by the every unsatisfied audience she had 24/7, both publicly and privately.

She did it all. She had no choice. It was her life.

But she was good at it. So good, people often wondered who she was hiding, working behind her, if she was the face of a much larger team.

Was she happy doing it?

Well… 

Through her life, she came to the conclusion that happiness was overestimated. That peace, work and success brought a more stable pleasure to her life than the endless chase of flickers of true happiness followed by a long lasting desperation, waiting for the next flicker.

She was comfortable spending every waking hour working, she took pride in her achievements and the growth of the companies under her. Everything else was futile and unimportant.

“Miss Luthor.” Miss Teschmacher voice over the intercom interrupts her thoughts.

“Yes, Eve. What is it?” She responds, not taking her eyes away from her computer.

“Cat Grant’s assistant is calling to confirm the interview tomorrow.” Her assistant informs her.

She sighs and stops typing. She’s been avoiding Cat Grant ever sense she moved to National City 3 months before. The woman is known to be relentless, tough, nosy and unbreakable. She could take anything out of anyone, and Lena wasn’t going to let such a woman break her carefully built image of a one-dimensional person with only one mindset: restless work and progress. But day after day, she would persist. Every day, sometimes more than once a day, her assistant would call, politely asking Eve if Lena had changed her mind. She was apparently so nice and cheery Eve couldn’t bear to not pick up the phone.

Until a week ago, she was adamant that Cat Grant wouldn’t get her way.

That is, until a casual talk with her new friend.

Kelly is her name. Her recent new hire. One of the brightest minds in National City. And strangely down to earth and friendly. They started talking merely on a professional level, her research on trauma and using AI and virtual reality as therapy aids was admittedly fascinating and Lena wanted to learn as much as possible about her progress, but somewhere along the way, the clever doctor managed to slide into her inner circle (which to be fair, was a total of 2 people, neither of which was in National City).

And, according to Kelly, Cat Grant wasn’t, in her own words, “that bad”. Apparently, the lovely woman that had been calling every day is Kelly’s sister-in-law, who had somehow been working as the mighty media queen’s assistant for over 3 years. Kelly told her Grant was practically a mentor to the young woman. She paid her several hundred dollars above what an assistant would normally earn (even more than Lena pays Eve, apparently), she introduced her to influential people, taught her on the ins and outs of the industry… Kelly then proceeded to not so subtly imply how much it would mean to her sister-in-law that she’d be able to score that interview with Lena for her boss. Lena had laugh at the time, but it did give her a new perspective to think about. For some reason, she wanted to help the young assistant in impressing her demanding boss. She ended up having a talk over the phone with Cat herself, and establishing some hard rules and off limit topics. Among her demands was that the assistant, who worked so hard to land her the interview, would be present in the room and allowed in the conversation if pertinent. She figured the woman should be rewarded for her efforts.

“Confirm the interview, Eve. 10 am. Here. Give her the password.” She tells her assistant through the com.

_Well, can’t escape now._

She just hopes she doesn’t end up regretting this.


	2. Kara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The interview. that's it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not too happy with this one, so, please bear with me. it's a bit bland and uninspired, not a lot of vocabulary variation, so to speak. i hope i get better at fixing that. but here it is.
> 
> And yes, Kelly will be important. i love her and i think she deserves better.

She anxiously looks around before checking her phone for the tenth time.

9:45 am

_Where is she?_

It’s not usual that an employee couldn’t wait to see her boss, especially with her boss being Cat Grant, but then again, saying Kara Danvers’ life is unusual was an understatement.

To start, she had been sent to this planet the day after she turned 13, when the Kryptonian soulmate machine thingy let them know that her soulmate was here. It’s not often that the soulmate is in a different continent, much less a different planet. But there she was. Endlessly looking for one single person in world of over 7 billion. How do humans even do this? They somehow seem to find each other by chance, but how? Hoping they see someone fall and suddenly feel an inexplicable pain to their side? She had felt her fair share of foreign pain throughout the years, but, so far, it didn’t make her search any easier.

In Krypton, they would find out where their soulmate was when they turned 13. Of course, they weren’t introduced right away as such, that took time. Kids were usually moved to the same school, in hopes chance pulled them together, which usually did, to be fair. They only got an official confirmation at 18, if necessary. But to the ones whose soulmate was far away, maybe even galaxies away, it was different. Chance wouldn’t do for those. Those were sent away, to wherever their soulmate called home.

In her particular case, and much like her cousin, that place was earth. She had been sent alone, with barely a note to her cousin, who had landed on here 10 years before. He wasn’t much help to her; in fact, he couldn’t care less. He just started a new job and found his soulmate, he wouldn’t drop everything to take care of his little cousin, he had said. But his friend J’onn did find her a nice family to settle down with.

The Danvers were an… odd family. In the best way. Eliza and Jeremiah weren’t each other’s soulmates, neither of them had one, but, with love and patience, they made it work together. Eliza owned a bakery (that, after more than a few incidents, Kara wasn’t allowed in anymore) and Jeremiah taught physics in the state university. They were kind and supportive and helped adapt to life on earth.

And then, there was Alex.

Alex was her favorite person. Her best friend. She was the best big sister anyone could ask for. She would beat up bullies and comfort her when she cried. She was caring, protective and just the awesomest person she ever met, in any planet.

And not that she isn’t grateful for the Danvers on a daily basis, but today, she’s particularly grateful for her sister and, more specifically, for how equally awesome her sister-in-law is in putting in a good word for her.

However, things aren’t going as well as she hoped.

She looks at her clock again.

9:47 am

She’s waiting for her boss to show up to arguably her biggest accomplishment as Cat Grant’s assistant: an interview with Lena freaking Luthor. And she couldn’t wait to show Miss Grant her journalistic skills. She wants to prove to her her time mentoring her was well spent. That she was worthy of a job as a reporter.

9:48 am

Miss Grant is never late. Kara always made sure of that. She hates being late. So, where is she?

She quickly revises her notes to keep her brain distracted.

Lena Luthor.

Considered by many the greatest tech mogul alive. Charming, very easy on the eyes, but also tough, hardworking and arguably one of the most intelligent and competent humans on earth. Also, notoriously hard to interview. Not that she wouldn’t give interviews, but no journalist seemed to be able to get more out of her than exactly what she was willing to give. She was often described by said journalists as closed off, cold, calculating. Not one major detail was known about her personal life. People weren’t even sure where she lived. Some were convinced she just slept in the office, and she never denied that either. No known partner, never commented on or about her family, not even her age and birthday were public. The woman was as open about investments, innovations and acquisitions as she was vague about anything even remotely personal. Some people even doubted that Lena was her real name.

Kara had the feeling that she reason Miss Luthor had initially refused Miss Grant was that, much like she was notorious for evading any and all second intention questions with a radiant smile on her face, miss Grant was notorious for always getting exactly what she wanted from her interviewees. It was an immovable object meeting an unstoppable force sort of situation.

“Get me that interview, Keira.” Her boss had ordered her after the first rejection. “Whatever it takes, you hear me? Just get it done.”

And so she called Eve Teschmacher, Miss Luthor’s assistant, every day, insisting on the same question, only to get the same answer every time. After a month, she was surprised Miss Teschmacher still picked up. Not that she was complaining. She kept talking to the woman, in conversations that became longer and longer over time, despite the final answer always remaining the same.

And so, after over a month of dead end phone calls and unanswered e-mails, she decided to try a more hands on approach. She started to visit Miss Teschmacher with baked goods, because _Who doesn’t love pastries?_ , to see if she would let Miss Luthor know she was there. But, as much as Kara wasn’t one to quit, neither was the lovely blonde in the front desk of L-corp. They always talked a little and exchange smiles, but she never went past the front door.

She was about to lose hope (which was something she was thoroughly scared of breaking to miss Grant) when, during game night at her place, Kelly mentioned her new job and “friend”.

“You’re working _where_?!” Kara yelled to her sister-in-law, who almost jumped in her seat, before laughing at her bugged eyes and dropped mouth.

Suddenly, she had hope again. After explaining everything to Kelly (and begging a little bit, let’s be honest), she agreed to put in a good word for her.

And one day, after over 3 months of grinding, the assistant she became to know had a new answer for her.

“If you’d be so kind as give me Cat Grant’s personal number to arrange the details, Miss Luthor would love to consider her offer.” Eve told her, and Kara was so excited she might have been slightly floating above her chair in the middle of her workplace.

“Of course, Miss Teschmacher. I’ll e-mail it to you right away.” _Any means necessary, right? She won’t mind._ “Thank you so much for your patience.”

When she broke the news to Miss Grant, her boss actually almost smiled before dismissing her, and Kara had never been prouder of herself.

But now, it is 9:55 and Miss Grant is nowhere to be found.

Kara is starting to get worried. Despite her dismissive and superficial nature, this interview was something her boss really wanted. It’s not like her to not be on time.

She looks around the busy street again. There plenty of people walking the streets, all in nice suits and busy looks that make her feel almost out of place in her light blue button up and dark pants. There not much traffic at all, and a spot for Miss Grant’s car is still available right in front of her.

Her phone rings suddenly.

“Yes, Miss Grant.” She anxiously answers after checking the name.

“Kiera.” The way she says her name alone makes her cringe. _She’s pissed. She’s really really pissed._ “This imbecile that’s about to lose his position got me stuck on 76th. You’ll have to conduct the interview. I e-mailed you all my notes. Stick to it like glue, am I clear? Don’t screw it up.” She adds before hanging up.

_Hold on. What?!_

Seconds later, her phone buzzes with a new e-mail.

_Prove I didn’t waste my time with you,_ it says, along with a text file that seems way too big to be read in less than 5 minutes, and an entrance password.

She’s tempted to fly out to wherever Miss Grant is stuck in and bring her and the car back here, but she’s not entirely sure she can measure up to the consequences of that. She doesn’t want to be her cousin. More importantly, she doesn’t want to be known for not being her cousin.

So, she immediately rushes into the skyscraper without much of a second thought.

_What am I gonna do?!_ She definitely didn’t prepare for this. She was prepared to observe, take notes and maybe ask a question or two, if it was pertinent and Miss Grant hadn’t touched the subject. But now she’s expected to conduct a full on interview? Alone? With a person famous for being evasive?

Is Lena Luthor really going to be her first official, professional, grand interview?

“Good morning, Miss Teschmacher.” She cheerily greets the assistant at the front desk despite feeling like she’s going to throw up.

“Hello, Miss Danvers.” She smiles back before frowning. “Where’s Miss Grant?”

“Good question.” She sighs. “She’s stuck in traffic.”

“Really?” The other blonde laughs, incredulous. Kara nods. She still can’t quite believe it herself.

“So, do we try to reschedule? Miss Luthor is usually very busy, I’m not sure when she’ll get another schedule break…”

“No, uhh… She told me to do the interview instead.” Kara smiles, trying to sound as confident as possible. “I have all her notes and questions and everything.”

“Uhhhh… ok, then.” Miss Teschmacher seems doubtful, but shrugs it off. “Miss Luthor is waiting for you.” She states, pointing at the elevator.

“Thanks.”

She gets into the fancy elevator and the first thing she notices is that there aren’t enough buttons for all the floors of the colossal skyscraper. Right next to the buttons, there’s a small number pad. She inserts the code on the e-mail and the box smoothly goes up with no interruptions what so ever. She’s so nervous she’d be sweating bullets if she was human.

The doors open to an immaculate hall with light blue glass walls. At the end, large mahogany doors await her.

_I can do this. I can totally do this._ She repeats to herself over and over as she walks through what looks like a spaceship before knocking.

“Come in.” A soft calm voice answers, in an accent she can’t quite place. Kara obeys and walks into and incredibly light and spacious office. As a corner office, she was expecting wide windows. What she wasn’t expecting was windows so clear with frames so subtle that the entire room looked completely open. The office is extremely minimalistic, but looks futuristic, like out of one of those sci-fi movies her friend Nia likes so much. Sitting in her desk, a beautiful and distant looking brunette in an immaculate black suit stares at her with raised eyebrows and a discrete smirk.

“No offense, Miss Danvers, but I was expecting you to arrive with your boss.” She says matter-of-factly.

“She’s… uh.” Kara adjusts her glasses nervously. “She got stuck in traffic.”

Miss Luthor laughs.

“The mighty Cat Grant, the undisputed queen of media, stopped by traffic.” She gets up and adjusts her suit. “So, do we reschedule this? My time is precious, Miss Danvers, it may take a while.”

“No, uhh… She told me to interview you in her place. I have all her notes and questions.”

The brunette’s eyebrows raise more.

“Really? How generous of her.” She comments, and Kara has the feeling she’s missing something. Miss Luthor then points at the chair in front of her. “Well, shall we, then?”

The blonde sits down subtly looking at the woman’s desk. Other than a keyboard and mouse, there’s nothing there. No papers, pens, files, nothing, not even a phone charger. Like Miss Luthor wouldn’t wasn’t anyone getting more information than the one she would strictly provide. Kara quickly takes out her tape recorder her notebook and her phone and sets them all up before looking up again.

She did her research on the woman in front of her. She watch every press conference and interview she could find, as per Miss Grant’s request. But sitting here, in front of the real deal, her mind kept thinking how the cameras couldn’t quite capture her true beauty.

Because she already knew the woman was breathtaking. That much was obvious. But seeing her in person? There is definitely something, something that she couldn’t name no matter how hard she tried, but something that couldn’t be quite captured that Kara had never seen before.

“So,” The brunette interrupts her daydreaming. “What impending questions did Cat Grant had for me that she made her assistant call every single day and resort to personal connections to ask?”

Kara nods and opens her bosses e-mail again. She almost rolls her eyes at the first question.

_Really?_

But she learned the hard way to never question her boss. She hits _record_ and asks anyway.

“What prompted your decision to leave Metropolis?”

Miss Luthor keeps her smirk on a few seconds before answering.

“I want to focus more on medical research, so I decided to move to this cell of the company.” She repeats the same standard answer she has been giving for the past 3 months to every reporter that walked her doors.

Kara looks to her boss’s notes again.

_There’s more to it than research,_ it said, along with a bunch of facts Kara remembers looking up for Miss Grant.

_Ok, Kara. Trust the boss that trusted you. Be tough._

“Is that the only reason, though?” Kara starts. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s a valid one, but you moved across the country, changed your entire life, and go to a city where you barely have a handful of central businesses. The bulk of your empire in in the west coast. And, according to my research, you own 3 hospitals and 2 medical research labs in Metropolis alone, so why move to a city with an infrastructure less than half the size?”

Miss Luthor once again raises her brows, but doesn’t seem too surprised.

“I sometimes focus on specific scientific projects I take particular interest in. And this lab is the only one using AI to develop therapy techniques for psychiatric uses.”

_Ok, this one I know._

“That cell was created after absorbing the research from Obsidian North, 3 months ago. Did you move across the country, leaving behind all your businesses that are used to run under your presence, solely to buy and supervise a group of 8 doctors and programmers?”

Now she does looks surprised, before laughing with no humor.

“Right. Kelly’s sister-in-law.” She nods to herself. “I should’ve calculated that.”

Kara decides on a whim to take another page out of Miss Grant’s book.

_Be relentless_.

“Did it had anything to do with the quiet support your brother has been showing towards conservative extremists and right-wing candidates to congress, particularly those that have been showing an anti-alien narrative?”

Not many people knew this information. That was information she was able to obtain thanks to Winn, her best friend and borderline hacker that Miss Grant hired right out of college for a tech support job.

Lex Luthor wasn’t as famous as Lena. He wasn’t known for much more than being the son of Lionel Luthor and big brother to the actual heir to the empire. He was an engineer focused on enhancement tech such as exo-skeletons and working as the lead researcher at a company partially owned by L-Corp, and was happy doing so, as far as it was known.

But through hidden (however public) court records, Winn found that, while Lena was written as the heir to all companies their father owned, the totality of the trust fund was divided just between his widow and Lex. And, although now all the capital under L-Corp’s name was worth several times more than what Lex heired, that hasn’t always been the case. Lena grew that capital throughout the years, basically alone.

Of course, she wouldn’t tell Miss Luthor she knew any of that unless it showed necessary, but her question seems to do the intended effect and Miss Luthor is speechless.

“I… my brother’s political affiliations have nothing to do with my businesses, Miss Danvers.” She states, her tone barely changing, but Kara notes a slight change in demeanor. Listening to her heartbeat, she can tell the woman is nervous. There’s a sudden tension in her that wasn’t there before.

“I didn’t mean to imply that, Miss Luthor. I apologize if that was the impression I gave.” She immediately corrects. In interviews like these, with such a closed off interviewee, it’s important that the person feels comfortable and not on edge. Otherwise, Kara would quickly be escorted out of the building. “I only intend to get the truth. My research tells me that your relationship with your family has been estrange for years. My intention was to know if that contributed to your decision.”

Miss Luthor takes a few seconds to respond.

“I owe you an apology, Miss Danvers. I underestimated you. I should’ve guessed that a person worth of Cat Grant’s trust would be more determined and cutthroat, no matter how harmless she looks.” She smiles with no humor before continue. “I should’ve also guessed that both of you would completely ignore my guidelines regarding questions about my personal life, my family included.”

“Miss Luthor…”

“My brother’s political affiliations have never and will never influence any of my decisions regarding my businesses.” She replies in a manner that puts a final point in the matter.

_His political choices don’t, but does anything else her brother does?_

She doesn’t dare ask that, though. She just takes note of her theory and moves on to the next question.

“How are you finding the city?”

She of course knows the answer to that, Kelly had told her, but she needs something on record, and it’s a good way to getting to know the woman better.

“It’s a nice city.” The woman’s behavior changes almost instantly. _Damn, she’s good_. She relaxes, her heartbeat goes down and she lays core comfortably in her chair. “It’s quite comfortable, to be honest. A lot more open spaces than Metropolis. And it’s nice to be by the sea for once.”

_Keep it with mundane questions._

“Any favorite places so far?”

The normal questions go on, most of which Miss Luthor had answer to other reporters before. From sightseeing to mentions of competition and deals she looks forward to make with local companies, Kara gets a pretty good idea that the brunette is genuinely enjoying her stay. Kara’s attention falters her, however, when she causally asks what think thinks of the local food and she mentions a specific restaurant she likes to buy lunch in.

“Oh, I love that place.” Kara mentions distractedly. “They have the best pasta in the city.”

“I personally prefer the salads myself.” She quietly counterpoints, the smirk back in her face. Kara decides she likes the smirk. She’s friendlier with that smirk.

“Salads?!” She can help herself. Who eats salads on purpose? At a pasta place?!

“It sounds like I touched a sore point.” She laughs, and it seems genuine for the first time.

“I’m sorry, but… Millano’s does have the best pasta in the city. I know that for a fact because I tried them all. And you go there to eat salads… are you allergic to pasta or something?”

“Is that a journalistic question?”

“It’s an ‘I’m really confused right now’ question.”

“If you must know,” she starts, her smile never leaving her face, “Salads are easier, lighter and quicker to eat. I don’t need to reheat them, my order is ready in less than 3 minutes, and I can pick it up before coming to work, which saves me time. It’s far more practical.”

“You eat salads… on purpose… to save TIME?!” Kara is so incredulous she almost shouts.

“Why do I feel like you’re personally offended?” 

“You’re a literal billionaire! Can’t you order ubereats or something?”

“Why is this such a big deal for you?” She laughs, incredulous.

“Food is important, Miss Luthor!” She replies in the most convicted voice she can manage.

Food is important to her. Food is her favorite thing on this planet. Food was what made her feel like this was her home for the first time.

It’s a big deal to Kara.

And she can’t muster why someone wouldn’t appreciate the wonder that is food, especially when they have the means to have any and all of it with the press of a button.

“Miss Danvers, I don’t think my eating habits are the reason your boss was so adamant about this interview.”

“I disagree, Miss Luthor.” She states, holding her ground.

“How so? And please, call me Lena.” She seems genuinely curious now, so Kara indulges her (and the recorder, because god knows Miss Grant will listen to this and Kara needs a proper explanation that isn’t her undying love for human food).

“What a person eats, when they eat, can speak to their state of mind, their values and what they prioritize in life. On your case, it tells me that you prioritize work and efficiency at all costs. It also tells me you care very little about your own happiness.”

“A salad told you that?” Lena asks, dumbfounded.

“No one can be happy just eating salads, Miss L… Lena.” She finishes, correcting herself as Lena gives her a look. “Am I wrong?”

“Well, the first part is correct. I am dedicated to my work, and my work alone. But I wouldn’t say I don’t care about my happiness, Miss Danvers.”

“Kara.” The blonde corrects. “If we’re on a first name basis now, it should be mutual, don’t you think?”

“That’s fair. Kara, then.” She smiles as her green eyes stare into mine. “My happiness is in my work, Kara. And, as you said yourself, I care about work.”

“Is that all you do? Work?”

“It’s all I need to do. I better do it right.”

“I mean, I need to work too, but I have other things I enjoy. What kind of hobbies do you have?”

“I’m afraid that fall into the private life theme again, Kara. I won’t be answering that.”

“Oh, c’mon!” Kara protests. “Hobbies? You tell me your dark secret of eating salads for lunch, but hobbies is a step too far?”

Lena laughs again, and Kara can’t help but to love the sound. It’s the most beautiful laugh she’s ever heard.

“I used to fence. I quit after an injury, but I used to love it. Are you satisfied now?”

“That’s not an answer, it’s just something you used to do and clearly don’t anymore, but I’ll take it.” She takes note of that detail before continuing. “What can you tell about your new projects within the company?”

They continue to talk extensively about Lena’s plans and upcoming products, but the conversation turns more and more casual as it goes on. Kara finds Lena a very easy and pleasant person to talk to, even if it’s mainly about her work. And that’s particularly strange considering that all the interviews she read of the woman described her as distant, cold and aloof. She seems none of those things to Kara. Guarded? Yes. Careful and calculating? Definitely. But cold? Not in the slightest. She likes how excited the brunette seems when she talks about any sort of innovation or breakthrough, or how she can’t wait to have the results of certain experiments she’s running.

“Do you listen to anything when you’re at your lab?” Kara ends up asking as the conversation flowed to her work methods.

“I don’t listen to anything, it distracts me.”

“What do you mean? No music, no podcasts?”

“How can someone work like that?” The brunette seems genuinely confused, which surprises Kara a bit.

“My sister is a neurosurgeon. She can’t operate without music in the OR. The silence is distracting to her.” Kara explains. “I can’t even write e-mails without my earphones on.”

“I don’t think I could focus with music on.”

“Have you ever tried?” She asks, fully aware of the answer by now. “What do you even listen to?”

“That’s personal, Miss Danvers.” She smirks.

“Oh, we’re back to Miss now, Miss Luthor?” She asks mockingly, making Lena laugh again.

“Excuse me, Miss Luthor.” Eve’s voice sounds through the com.

“Yes, Eve? She replies, her eyes not leaving Kara.

“Your meeting with Mr. Spheer stats in 15 minutes.”

“Mr. Spheer, as in Spheer industries?” Kara asks, ready to listen to any and all of the latest tech scoops.

“Thank you, Eve.” Lena says after pressing the button. “I’m not answering that.”

“That’s definitely work related. Why not?” The blonde ask before realizing maybe… “Or is it work related?”

Lena just rolls her eyes.

“It is work related, but there’s a very tight NDA in place and nothing is set in stone as of right now. Happy?” She states, rolling her eyes when Kara smiles triumphantly. “I’m afraid that all the time we have, though.”

Kara nods and presses stop on her recorder before asking:

“So, now can you tell me what you listen to? Off the record.” She adds with her hands up in surrender in hopes to make the brunette giggle again. She’s thrilled when it actually works.

“Why do you care?”

“I’m curious now!” She justifies.

“I don’t want to see that information on Catco, Kara.”

“It won’t leave this room, I promise.”

She waits a few seconds before giving in.

“Fine. My favorite band was N’Sync.” She murmurs like she’s ashamed of it. Kara gasps in delight. “Don’t comment. Don’t say anything. Just store that info in your mind and move on, please.”

“Ok.” Kara is fighting the smile threatening to creep up on her. But she does break when Lena herself breaks into laughter.

“It was very nice meeting you, Kara.” She says formally, raising her hand for the blonde to shake.

“Likewise.” Kara responds as she takes her hand. “And I need to warn Kelly. You need to eat Millano’s pasta. Salad is just sad.” Kara adds, making the brunette laugh once more. She really loves doing that for some reason, but doesn’t dwell too much on why. She’ll have time to think about that later.

They say their goodbyes and exchange business cards before Kara leaves.

As she goes down the elevator, she feels a light pang on her forehead.

Her soulmate must’ve knocked her head somewhere.


	3. Lena (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have lunch.  
> who are "they"?  
> read.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, today, on this fucked up day where a fascist is trying to take over a country before the votes are counted (future people reading this, yes, this is how Armageddon started), i decide to publish this crap, hoping it'll bring a smile to yall faces in this crap times.  
> this one was a roller coaster. i lost it, then mostly found it (in pieces, but still good to piece together), then realized the chapter was 5k long and nowhere near done, so, i cut it in half (hence part 1 in the title).
> 
> i find that Lena is easier to write, because she's pragmatic and pessimistic and bad in social settings, and i relate to that. Kara is the polar opposite of me.
> 
> so, i hope you like it.
> 
> Oh, and no soulmate things will be mentioned in this one. just fwi.

Lena isn’t 100% sure what happened that day.

She used to be careful. She used to let only certain people come close to her. Jack. Sam. More recently, Kelly.

Never a journalist. Never a stranger. Certainly, never someone who works for a magazine known for their gossip articles.

Yet somehow, Kara Danvers just bulldozed through all her walls like they were made of paper in a matter of minutes.

To be fair, it wasn’t entirely the woman’s fault. Actually, she’s mostly convinced it wasn’t the woman’s fault at all.

Lena was the one that let her guard down. Lena was the one that ignored all her rules as soon as the blonde smiled. Lena was the first to ask to be called by her first name.

By the time she realized how much she had given away, the blonde was already halfway to the door. It was too late.

And she’s pissed. Pissed at herself, mostly. She had been frustrated with herself the minute the blonde stepped out of her office. She was still so frustrated during her meeting with Jack that he end up asking about it, prompting even more frustration to combust in her. How did one blonde in glasses manage to do this to her?!

But she’s also pissed at Cat Grant. She’s basically the reason this happened. She would’ve been careful if Grant had come. She prepared for Grant, not her sunshiny dork of an assistant.

Because there’s no way that woman got stuck in traffic. She would’ve been late and used that as an excuse to be rude and push her questions with no mercy. Hell, she would have called 911 and demand police escort, probably.

So, she’s convinced it was planned. Grant definitely prepared for her assistant to conduct the interview in her place. And it was definitely to throw her off. There’s no other logical explanation. What remained to be seen is if the assistant was in on the scheme. Because she seemed smart to Lena. She couldn’t possibly by that clueless.

Except Kara also seemed genuine. She was exactly how Kelly had described. Bubbly, funny, easy going… She seemed nervous and careful and overall, just a dorky pupil egger to impress her mentor. Was she just a pawn in her boss’s games? 

The truth is she doesn’t know what to think of the young assistant. She desperately wants to trust her (the why of that will have to be processed later, Lena can only deal with one emotional puzzle at a time), but she isn’t entirely sure she can.

_I guess I’ll find out when the interview comes out_ , she thinks, groaning again at the possibility of that last detail being printed.

She gets pulled out of her thoughts by a knock on the door.

“Yes?”

Kelly walks in with her usually kind smile.

“Have you eaten yet?” She asks with an expression like she knows the answer already.

“I haven’t.” She responds neutrally.

“Well, c’mon.” She gestures for her to come with.

“I have to work, Kelly. And I brought lunch.” She says matter-of-factly. She rarely had lunch outside her office. And Kelly knew that.

“Salads.” She replies in a jokingly accusatory way.

She sighs.

“So, you talked to Miss Danvers, huh?”

“I may have.” She shrugs as she innocently looks around.

“Kelly, it’s fine. I usually eat here anyway. You’re welcomed to join, though.” She offers, knowing her friend was kind but as suborn as holly hell.

And true to her fashion, she shakes her head.

“Nuh uh. You’re getting a proper meal. C’mon. Move.”

“I have…”

“Don’t you dare say ‘work’.” She interrupts, pointing an accusatory finger at her. “I asked Eve. I haven’t come before because you were busy. Today you’re not. I know that for a fact, Lena. Now move. I’m not going to ask again.” She warns in a serious tone, but her voice cracks with laughter somewhere in the middle.

Lena breaks into laugher as well and decides to take her up on her offer.

“Where are we going?”

“Millano’s” Kelly replies, wrapping her arm around Lena’s.

She can’t help but to roll her eyes.

_Of course._

They talk about Kelly’s progress as they walk down the street, in the midst of cars and arrogant people in immaculate suits. Kelly is really easy to talk to for some reason. She’s calm and caring like no one she ever met, and she’s one of those people that actively engages in people’s ramblings no matter how silly they are, like what they’re saying is important. Maybe it’s just the therapist training speaking, but it’s still somewhat comforting to Lena.

They arrive at the restaurant (where Kelly had a reserved table for lunch?!) and keep the small talk until her friends asks the question she knew was coming from the moment she showed up.

“So, how was the interview?”

“I thought you already knew.” She evades. She really doesn’t want to talk about it.

“I know Kara’s version. I know Cat didn’t show up. I know she thought you were very nice, which I agree, but I didn’t think you’d show that side of you,…”

“She said that?” She interrupts without thinking, and regrets it almost immediately.

“Oh?” Kelly questions with a curious smile.

She sighs in defeat.

“Look, I wasn’t expecting her. I prepared for Cat Grant, queen of media, world class bitch, not the human embodiment of a golden retriever.”

Kelly bursts into laughter at that.

“I told you she was cheery.”

“Darling, you’re cheery. She’s… I don’t know. She’s the most… shiny person I’ve ever met.”

Kelly smiles like she knows something, but she doesn’t follow up on whatever it was.

“I should introduce you 2 properly. You do need some sunshine in your life.” Her friend says instead.

“No, thank you.” She laughs.

Being friends with a journalist…

No way.

“Why not?” Kelly asks like she’s seriously considering it.

“She’s a journalist, Kelly. She’s the worst kind of person for me to be friends with.” She explains.

“First of all, she’s just an assistant…”

“Cat Grant’s assistant…” She comments under her breath.

“And second, if that’s how you think, then, I’m really sorry about this.” Her friend adds before getting up.

“Wait, what?” She looks at her friend before realizing something. Something crucial she can’t believe she hadn’t notice before.

They are sitting on a table for 4.

“Hey, babe.” Kelly greets a gorgeous, short haired brunette with a kiss. However, her attention to who she assumes is Kelly’s partner is short lived because, behind said brunette, there’s a blonde with glasses in a tight flannel tucked into slim black jeans.

Kara.

_Damn it, Kelly._

“Alex, this is Lena. Lena, this is my wife and Kara’s sister, Alex. And you 2 already met, so…”

“Nice to finally meet you.” The woman greets her as she sits down by her wife.

“Likewise.” She replies politely, shaking her hand.

Kara sits next to her with a soft but excited smile and she wants to kill Kelly.

_Why would you do this to me?_ She hopes her furious eyes can be read by the therapist. And judging by the defying smile, they can.

The waiter comes and everyone orders with not much of a problem (she decides to follow Kara’s advice for no particular reason), despite Lena being pretty sure Kara’s order alone was enough to feed all of them.

“I’m not paying your bill.” Her sister warns her, to which the response is an immediate eye roll.

“It was one time, Alex. I brought my wallet today, ok?”

“It was 4 times and thank you very much.”

Lena looks down and checks her phone.

She’s always been bad at informal social settings. The unstable and variable rules have always thrown her off. At a cocktail party or a fundraiser, she knows the rules. They’re hard and strict and complex sometimes, but they’re clearly defined. She can follow the clearly defined rules and because of that, she was able to take advantage of them and achieve whatever goal she had for the occasion.

These settings are very different, however. Each group has different rules, it’s something she has to learn by trial and error.

And she hates trial and error. Trial and error puts her in awkward situations and fuels gossip.

Her phone suddenly vibrates.

**Kelly:**

_Let go of your phone and talk like a normal person._

She blushes and looks up to warm, understanding eye for a second before she turns to the banter between the sisters.

“Ok, I don’t eat that much!”

“Kara,” Alex says like she’s exhausted. “I’ve seen you eat 8 dumplings in one meal.”

“Because they’re delicious!”

“You eat for 3, and that’s a fact!”

“Babe,” Kelly calls, sensing the argument heating up. “Just let your sister eat what she pleases.”

“Thank you!” Kara slams the table and smiles cockily at her sister, who rolls her eyes and instead focuses on something else.

On someone else.

“You don’t say a lot.” Alex notes, turning to Lena.

“Oh, I know better than to meddle in sibling banter.”

“No, it’s not just that.” She clarifies. “You’re quieter than I thought. Both of them talk about how you are nice. You don’t seem nice.”

“Thank you.” She responds with a smirk. She likes when strangers note that she isn’t nice. Nice people never get their way. And in order to run an empire, getting her way in everything is absolutely essential.

“Uau, you actually mean that.” The doctor says, looking surprised.

“I can’t afford to be nice to strangers, Miss Danvers.” She succinctly explains.

“But you were nice to Kara.”

“You wanted me to be unpleasant with your sister?” She tries.

“We both know that’s not what I meant.” Alex persists, though, her tone tense and pointed.

They stare intensely at each other for a while until Lena decides to answer.

“I was expecting Cat Grant. Anything to replace that nightmare is a win to me, so I was feeling quite relieved that day. There. Happy?”

“No, but let’s go with that.”

“Alex, can you try and be nice to her, please?” Kelly intervenes once again, holding her wife’s hand.

“She’s your boss.”

“She’s also my friend.” She insists, determined. “And if she was just my boss, it wouldn’t be great for me for you to be rude to her, would it?” She adds with a look only a loved one can give someone. It seems Kelly doesn’t reserve her calm, kind, logical persuading skills to the workplace. How she managed to calm down a clearly protective big sister, her own wife, is downright impressive. She’s still not forgiving her for putting her in this situation, but impressive none the less.

“I’m sorry.” The brunette politely gives in. “She’s my little sister. I need to protect her.” She continues, implying something else Lena is not too comfortable with. However, she doesn’t have time to address it before Kara intervenes.

“You don’t _need_ to do anything.” The blonde counterpoints, pouting. “You just do it because you like to push people around.”

“Shut up.”

“See!?” Kara turn to Lena with her hands up in frustration.

She can’t help but to laugh at that. The blonde looks so pouty and adorable it’s impossible not to.

She immediately stops her mind.

_Nope. I’m not processing that right now._

Their food doesn’t take too long to arrive, even considering the place is packed. And she was right. Kara’s plates seem like way too much food for a human to eat, much less a relatively small human like her.

“How are you going to eat all that?” She can’t help herself and asks.

“Just watch me.” The blonde smiles, defiantly. “You first, though. I wanna see your face when you realize you’ve been eating here all wrong.”

Lena indulges her and takes a bite of her meal, convinced the journalist is blowing it out of proportion.

And…

She really doesn’t want to admit it, but…

_God damn it._

“Ha! Told you!”

“Fine, it’s delicious.” She conceded, seeing how excited the woman is. “I’ll order this instead from now on.”

“YES!” She holds her fork into the air like a sword. “No more salads!”

“What do you have against salads?” Lena laughs.

“That’s her _arch enemy_.” Alex comments in a mocking tone. “She hates anything even remotely healthy.”

“’Healthy’ is just another word for tasteless and horrible.” Kara argues as she takes a bite of one of her plates.

“So, it’s an open war, then?” Lena laughs.

“Oh, you have no idea.” Alex says in the most serious tone she can manage, given the silly turn the conversation took. “She hates greens. Always have. It was the one thing she refused to eat. I don’t think she ever even tried kale.”

“No, I did, and it’s the worst thing I ever tasted.”

“It’s not that bad.” Lena argues, but by the blonde’s reaction, it’s not the first time she heard that.

“’It’s not that bad’ shouldn’t be an argument for eating if you can have things that actually aren’t bad at all.”

“You really gave a lot of thought into this, didn’t you?”

“You should see the arguments she had with our mother.” Alex chimes in. “They lasted hours.”

“They didn’t last hours.”

“They lasted hours and always ended up with you going to bed and not talking to her the next day.”

“Well, she couldn’t force me to eat that disgusting thing.” Kara doubles down.

“She your mum. I’m pretty sure she can.” Lena comments.

“She went on a hunger strike once.” Alex tells her. “That’s when mom gave up.”

“Seriously?!” Lena turns a surprised eye to Kara, who just shrugs. She already knew the woman was ferociously determined, but it’s a fun twist to realize she has a major flair for the dramatic as well.

The conversation flows easily after that. They talk about the big surgery Alex had the day before, Kelly and Lena explain the improvements on their algorithms for the AI and Kara complains about Cat Grant.

“And she asked me to check with ‘computer boy’ about the article set up on the site. ‘Computer boy’. Winn has worked there for 3 years.” She tells them, frustrated.

“I don’t know why you’re surprised. She can’t even get your name right.” Alex says as she eats her banana split.

“No, that she does on purpose.” She mutters as she eats from her ice-cream bowl with is, once again, 3 times bigger than Lena thought was necessary. “I’m pretty sure she just doesn’t know his name.”

“What does she call you?” Lena asks, curious.

“Keira.” Kara grumbles resignedly.

“Why won’t you correct her?”

“Yeah, you try and correct Miss Grant on anything. The best outcome you can hope for is an eye roll and complete disregard about what you just said.”

“So, you go on a hunger strike over greens as a kid, but won’t correct your boss on your own name?”

“Well,” Kara starts to defend herself as Alex shouts ‘thank you!’ maybe a bit too loud. “Cat Grant is a lot scarier than Eliza, ok?”

She makes a mental note on how Kara calls her mother by her first name before continuing.

“Kara, she’ll never respect you if you can’t even impose your own name to her.”

“We keep telling her that.” Kelly explains. “To no avail.” She adds, giving a pointed look at her sister-in-law.

“I just…” She sighs. “She’s scary, ok? I can’t.”

“Where is determination you had when you talked to me?” Lena asks.

“I didn’t know I was gonna talk to you alone, it was a spur of the moment thing. And I was following her instructions.”

She doesn’t really believe that, but still insists.

“You had the guts to insist, and to push your own questions, and I know that because I very much doubt Car Grant cares about my eating habits. Are you telling me that those guts are actually just you being driven by fear of your own boss?”

“No, I…” Lena almost regrets pushing it. The woman looks like she’s about to cry, her ice-cream forgotten. “I just really like my job. I know people don’t understand how or why, but I love it.”

“Do you think she’s gonna fire you for standing up for yourself?” The brunette softens her voice. The blonde seems heartbroken and she doesn’t want to push her too much.

“I don’t know.” She murmurs, looking down at her desert. “It’s not just about the name. I really don’t know what she would do.”

Lena then decides to try a different angle.

“What did she say about our interview?”

“She told me to write something too.” She shrugs, finally taking another spoonful of her ice-cream.

Everyone in the table has such a coordinated reaction is almost seemed planed.

“What?!”

“She said I should have a say, since I was the one there to note your reactions instead of her. She may use some bits in her article.”

“Kara, that’s huge!” Her sister exclaims. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“It’s not that unusual. She asks for my input quite often. She needs some ‘millennial eyes’” She air quotes,” as she puts it. And, according to her, people are more likely to be careless around me than around her. So, I proof read all her articles, and sometimes she lets me add things.”

“Kara, this is different.” Alex argues once more “She blatantly asked you to write a piece for her. Don’t you understand how important that is?”

The woman just shrugs again in response, and Lena can’t believe her eyes.

Kara really has no idea, does she? She’s completely clueless on what her boss is doing. She didn’t even consider the fact that her boss may be lying to her.

“Kara,” She calls her attention. She continues once the woman turns. “Do you really think Cat got stuck in traffic?”

“That’s what she said.” The blonde states, seemingly confused.

“This is Cat Grant we’re talking about. She got you to call every day to my office for over 3 months, Kara. She made Lois freaking Lane back down from Superman.” The blonde looks down at that. “Do you really think she would let traffic stop her? That makes no sense, Kara.”

“Why would she do that? She pushed me so much to get that interview. There’s no way she would’ve wasted it.”

In front of her, Alex seems to suddenly get it, judging by her bulging eyes. Kelly, on the other hand, doesn’t look surprised at all.

“Kara, you can’t possibly be that dense.”

“What?”

“She’s pushing you to be a reporter, dumbass!”

“No, she’s not.”

“Kara, she passed up an interview she really wanted for you to have it and now she’s telling you to write on it. What other explanation is there?” Lena asks calmly, to contrast with Alex’s excited and exasperated demeanor.

“None of you has managed to give me a reason for why she would do that.” Kara states, apparently giving up on her argument that Cat didn’t give it up.

“I don’t have a definitive response that, to be honest.” Lena admits. She can’t think of a reason why Cat Grant would push her assistant into (and not to flatter herself) an admittedly important interview for her first real take as a reporter. It made absolutely no sense.

“Maybe you should ask her.” Kelly suggests.

“Didn’t we just discussed how I can’t ask her anything?”

“Ask her why she had you write it as you deliver it to her. She can’t be mad at that.”

“Oh, trust me. She’ll find a way.” Kara turns her attention back to her bowl and starts eating again as if she’s trying her best to keep her mouth full at all times.

The table remains in an awkward silence for a few seconds before Kelly, the ever life saver, intervenes.

“So, can we get a scoop of what you’re writing?” She asks Kara, who lights up almost immediately.

The conversation rapidly turns into the merits of boybands (much to Alex’s dismay), which turns into pop culture, which quickly evolves into karaoke and game night.

“Oh, you have to come!” Kara excitedly says to Lena.

“I’m not sure that’s…”

“No, you have to! We’re always missing one person, at it’ll be fun!”

“Eh…” She turns to Kelly for help, but that proves pointless.

“Hey, don’t look at me. I think it’s good for you.”

She sighs. Her friend truly abandoned her to the wolves.

Even if the blonde is more of an overexcited, bouncing gold retriever than a wolf.

“When?”

“Friday night.”

“I’ll think about it.” She concedes politely. Friday is far away enough. She’ll have a couple of days to make some kind of work arrangements as an excuse to miss it. But her answer seems to leave the blonde happy, so that’s definitely a bonus.

She’ll have to talk to Kelly about that detail later, though. She can’t deal with that on her own. Everything about Kara is giving her a headache.

They get up to leave (Kara, true to her word, pays her own bill) and head out.

As they say their goodbyes, Kara shyly extends her a piece of paper.

“It’s my number. My personal one, I mean.” She murmurs, blushing slightly.

Lena takes it before she can think too much about it. All she knows is she wants to take it, and her brain is going into overdrive and yelling at her to both get away and open up to the gorgeous blonde.

“Text me sometime.” She smiles before kissing Kelly goodbye and going off with her sister, who nods Lena goodbye before turning to the subway.

Lena sighs.

_God fucking damn it…_


	4. Lena (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hallo.  
> So, this is the second part that got too long to join part 1.  
> once again, i'm not 100% happy with it, but there's also a lot of parts i really like, and we get more into the mess that is Lena's mind, so maybe it'll be ok.  
> i hope you enjoy.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Kelly asks her gently as she takes Lena’s arm into hers.

“I’ll never forgive you for this.” She whispers angrily, or as angrily as she can get right now. “You know I hate surprises.”

“I know, and I’m sorry.” She admits, and surprisingly, doesn’t add anything else. No excuses, explanation, nothing. Just a simple apology.

It’s one of the reasons she likes Kelly so much. She’s not (usually) pushover or obnoxious, and she always admits the few times she’s wrong.

Now, the question is: Is she wrong? As they walk back to their building in silence, she revises the events. She had indeed been extremely uncomfortable. Everything about the occasion had been out of her comfort zone. And yet, if she asks herself if she regretted it, her answer would be “no”. She doesn’t regret getting to know the bubbly blonde better. She doesn’t regret finally meeting Kelly’s tough and observant soulmate. She doesn’t regret finally eating Millano’s pasta and realizing she had in fact been eating there all wrong.

But what does that mean? What does it mean that she’s seriously considering texting Kara? What does it mean that she doesn’t want to keep her distance from the woman, like she normally does with everyone else? What does it mean that she’s also absolutely terrified of that need for proximity?

All this unanswered questions, all these dilemmas are still bubbling inside of her when they enter the elevator, so much so, she’s even surprised how fast they got there. They quickly get to Kelly’s floor, but her friend hesitates. She then turns to Lena.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” She asks once again, her characteristic kind smile plastered on her face.

And she can’t say no. She can’t say her brain isn’t about to explode, or that every new, weird emotion isn’t giving her an anxiety attack.

But she can’t exactly say yes either, so she nods instead. Her friend’s smile gets brighter and she presses the button to close the elevator.

“You’ll have to cover my ass in the lab, though.” She jokes as the elevator moves up once more.

They get into Lena’s office and immediately go to their usual couch. For some reason, all their important conversations are held on that couch, Kelly even have had a couple epiphanies in it that improved her research greatly.

Kelly of course waits of her to start, but as she doesn’t even know where to, she gives her a slight push.

“Do you wanna talk about Kara?”

“I…” She takes a deep breath before continuing. _Here goes nothing._ “This is all new to me.”

“What is?”

“All this.” _Don’t force me to say it._

But she wouldn’t have such luck.

“Lena, you don’t have to say it to me, but at least say it to yourself.” Kelly comments, placing her hand on Lena’s knee in support.

“I… I never felt like this before.” She finally admits, ashamed.

“Why are you embarrassed about that?” Kelly asks the obvious question, but it still irks Lena.

“This is not a therapy session.” Lena warns, feeling cornered. She doesn’t like to be pushed, especially regarding emotionally charged matters, and this definitely qualifies. “If I wanted a doctor, I would’ve called my own.”

“Lena, I’m asking this as your friend. I’m honestly concern about your distress right now.” Her friend assures her, and…

Well, yeah, maybe she’s being a little paranoid about Kelly. It wouldn’t be the first time. After all, from the moment they met, the woman has been nothing but respectful, hardworking, and kind, and throughout her life, she had come to the conclusion people who behaved like that usually have second intentions. Her instinct not to trust anyone that was too cheery or nice had been a struggle to fight.

Then again, that’s exactly the main reason she’s freaked out, isn’t it? Because she did exactly what her own therapist told her to do: Be more receptive and open up more to people in her personal life. She opened up to a stranger that was cheery and nice and that treated her with kindness from the get go.

Only that she did it unintentionally. She never really meant to open up to Kara like that, it just happened.

And she can’t figure out why.

“There’s no logical reason for it.” She ends up saying out loud without thinking.

“What’s ‘it’?” Her friend gently asks.

“Kara.” She responds, hoping that’s enough of an explanation.

“Is this about how you opened up to her? Is that what’s making you nervous?”

“It’s… Why her?” She turns to Kelly, hoping she has her answer.

“What do you mean?” She asks instead, her face displaying genuine confusion.

“I’m closed off with everyone, Kelly. By design. I actively chose to do so. Why can’t I do it with her?”

“Lena, that’s a good thing.” Her friend smiles. “I thought you were working on that. We’ve talked about this.”

Lena remembers that talk.

It took an effort for Kelly to become her friend. Of course, her cleverness and refusal to back down was what attracted Lena to her in the first place, and without noticing, she was talking to Kelly almost every day, but that didn’t mean Lena hadn’t been cautious. It took a full month and Kelly asking her point blank why she was so distant, for their relationship to evolve. It did take Lena by surprise, especially considering she was still her boss, but she quickly realized that that her forwardness was one of the qualities Lena appreciated the most about her.

So, she risked it. She trusted Kelly and she was right to do so.

That day, that had an open and honest conversation about trust and the importance of separating their personal life of their professional one (Lena got an earful from her when she admitted that her personal life was practically none existent) and Lena had promised to try and be more open to new found personal relationships.

But this is different.

“Kelly, you’re not getting it.” She argues. “I chose to trust you, to share more of my personal life with you.”

“Not too much, though.” Kelly interrupts with a smirk. “I don’t even know your birthday.”

She chuckles. That was sort of a running joke. No one knew her birthday, not even her closest friends. She never had good memories of her birthday, so might as well let everyone forget it altogether, right?

That’s not the issue at hand, though.

“I didn’t actively chose to let Kara in. It just sort of… happened.”

“Oh, so you opened up to her by accident?”

“Yes, I think so.” Lena murmurs.

“And that scares you, huh?”

“How couldn’t it?!” She exclaims, maybe a bit too loud. “She’s a journalist, Kelly! And I haven’t known her for even a week! We’ve met twice!”

“Ok, ok Lena, calm down.” Kelly slides closer to her and wraps her arm around her shoulders. “First of all, Kara is very trustworthy. You have nothing to be afraid of with her. It was actually the main reason is scheme this lunch. I thought you and her would get along well because you wouldn’t need to worry about being your usual cautious self. So, you don’t have to worry about that.”

“How can you be sure of that?” She can’t help but to ask.

“Because she’s my sister-in-law. Because I’ve known her for a few years now and because she’s my wife’s most trusted confidant. She’s a good, loyal person and you can trust her.”

“Ok.” She’s not entirely convinced, and that information does nothing to help her with the real issue here, but she decides to give Kelly time to explain before interrupting again.

“Second, what makes you think you suddenly turned into this careless person who will overshare with every stranger she meets?”

“I have no evidences on the contrary.”

“Lena,” she starts, forcing Lena to turn her head and look her in the eyes “I say this with all the love: You’re being an idiot.”

Lena raises her eyebrows, taken at back.

“What?”

“Lena, you’re careful, calculating and incredibly intelligent. You’re too smart to do something like that.”

“But I did do something like that!”

“Well, Kara is an exception to a lot of things. She’s a pretty unique person. She may be immune to your shields too. It doesn’t mean you’re going to spill your darkest secrets to the next cab driver or barista you come across.”

She has to admit it. Kelly was making a lot of sense.

She has never met anyone like Kara before. She is bubbly and happy and her happiness is contagious. She is charming but tough, funny but stubborn, easily distracted but clever. She makes Lena want to learn more and more about her, and not to gain a business advantage or in order to protect herself, as usual. No, she wants to know her out of pure joy and curiosity.

She’s never been this curious about anyone before.

Not off the bat, at least.

“So, are you going to text her?” Kelly asks, pulling her out of her thoughts.

“No way.” Lena responds immediately. How could she text the woman? How does one even do that?

“Why not?”

“Because…”

“Because you’re scared to death.” Kelly finishes with a pointed look.

“I… well, yeah, I am. So what?” She admits, defiantly. What’s so wrong about being scared anyway?

“You shouldn’t be scared of meeting new people, Lena.”

“It’s not that… exactly.” She starts, but slightly corrects once she notices the look Kelly was giving her. “I just… I…”

“If you’re gonna tell me you don’t know how, I swear…” But she stops mid-sentence once Lena looks down in shame. “Oh, Lena…”

“What do you want me to say, Kelly? I have a total of 5 contacts on my personal phone. I never really initiated a conversation over text with anyone if it wasn’t in a professional setting. I don’t do social interactions.”

“Give me your phone.” Kelly demands, extending her hand.

“For what?”

“I’m going to help you. Take out your phone.” She explains. Lena does as she’s told and takes the device out, but hesitates, so Kelly adds: “I promise I won’t send anything without your permission.”

She really doesn’t want to do that. She knows why. It’s unknown and out of her comfort zone, but having that information about herself doesn’t make her want it any more.

“Kelly…”

“Do you want to text with her? I don’t mean initiate the conversation, I mean do you want to text her with the same comfort you text me.”

She hesitates, but nods once she realizes what Kelly means.

“Yes.”

Because she does. She wants to know Kara. She wants to take the risk and trust Kelly’s words.

“Then, there’s one of 2 solutions for this: either you give me your phone and let me help you do it, or I can give Kara your phone number and you let her take the first step.”

Lena looks down before handing her unlocked phone to her friend. Her heart is beating so hard she can hear it. It’s uncomfortable enough for her to wander if her soulmate would feel it if they were alive.

That thought gets her sad suddenly, and she can’t quite pinpoint why. She got used to the idea that she doesn’t have a soulmate years ago. Why wandering if they would’ve felt something if they were alive, a thought she had ever sense she stopped feeling, would make her sad now all of a sudden?

“There.” Kelly brings her back to reality. She takes the phone from her friend’s hand when she offers and reads the draft.

_Hello. This is Lena Luthor. You gave me your number at lunch. This is mine._

Simple. Direct. Why couldn’t she write that on her own?

However, she’s still not 100% sure about it. Not yet, at least.

“Can I think about it for a while?” She asks her friend.

“Of course you can.” Kelly smiles at her as she gets up. “Now, I have to go to the lab. Talk to you later.”

Lena gets up as well.

“Thank you.” She whispers as she pulls her for a hug.

“I’m here for whatever you need, ok?” Kelly tights the hug before letting go. She then kisses her head before leaving her to her thoughts.

She keeps running over Kelly’s words.

_Do you want to text her like you text me?_

Her first and immediate answer that popped in her mind was “no”. But not because she doesn’t want to know the blonde, or because of her walls.

For some reason, she doesn’t want with Kara the same kind of relationship she has with Kelly. She wants to be close to the blonde, but when she thinks about her, what she wants from that interaction, it’s not the same she has with Kelly or even Sam.

It may be close of what she wanted with Jack…

She drops he phone on the couch and walks to her desk.

She can’t deal with that.

Not right now.

So, she delves herself into her work. She has two business meetings to prepare for tomorrow, and two more the following day, plus check on her own research group about their portal project they’ve been working on. That should keep her busy in the next few days, right?

She stays in her office until late at night, preparing every detail of her meetings. In a spur of the moment, she decides not to go home and goes downstairs to the company gym to relax her sore body that’s clearly complaining from being in front of her desk all day. After an hour on the bike and another hour in the shower, she takes a nap in her couch, which is unfortunately cut short, since her office is in the east corner of the building and gets touched by the first sunrays of the day every morning.

She makes the next couple of days just as intense as that one, keeping her mind and body as busy as she possibly can. She only realizes it’s already Friday when Kelly shows up at her office to ask her if she wants a ride to game night.

“I can’t.” She says. “I need to review our preliminary results on our transportation project so it can be out my Monday. Maybe next time.”

Kelly looks visibly disappointed, but she nods none-the-less and wishes her goodnight. She does find herself disappointed she can’t go, though. Not because she wanted to go, she’d be wat too uncomfortable to do so, but she feels like a coward by burying herself in work in order to have a proper excuse.

So, the thing to do is to bury herself into more work to forget those feelings as well, of course. She doesn’t leave her office the entire weekend and by she finally finishes the article and sends it to the marketing department, it’s 4 am. She doesn’t even noticed she fell asleep on her desk until a hand shakes her shoulder.

“Lena. Lena, wake up.”

She startles awake and immediately regrets the fast movement. Her back was clearly not a fan of the busy weekend. She groans as she looks at Kelly, who’s looking at her with a disapproving glare.

“Where’s your phone?”

“Uh…” Lena looks around the room.

_Where did I leave my phone?_

She looks around the room before her eyes settle on the couch. That’s where she last remembered seeing it. It has been sitting there for almost a week, she realizes. Kelly follows her gaze and goes to pick up the device.

“It’s dead, Lena.” Kelly scolds her. “I’ve been calling you all weekend. I was worried.”

“I’m sorry. I was working on the article for the portal portal and got distracted.”

Kelly runs back to the desk and puts the phone on charge.

“Eve called me, worried sick because you wouldn’t answer. Why do I have a key to your office but she doesn’t? And why did you locked yourself inside?”

“I…” She can’t think of an answer to the first one that won’t get the disapproving stare she’s being growing used it. She doesn’t need to say anything anyway.

“Lena…”

Lena interrupts her with the answer for the second question before she even starts.

“I locked the door because I wasn’t going to leave. It’s a safety precaution, in case I fell asleep, which is exactly what ended up happening.”

“Your office is at the top of a skyscraper and is only accessible through a private elevator that needs a code to get to this floor, a code that you change every week. Why do you need the locked door again?”

“I… it’s too early for sermons, Kelly.”

Kelly sighs as she makes her way out.

“Go eat something, please.”

“I will. And I’m sorry I scared you.”

“I’m used to it.” She smirks. “I’ll pass by after. There’s something I could use your help with.”

“Of course. Whatever you need. See you later, then.”

She waves goodbye and Lena is once again left with her thoughts. The first thing she does is to call downstairs to apologize to Eve. The woman sounds relieved at the sound of Lena’s voice and enthusiastically orders her breakfast, which amuses the brunette to bits. She replies to her usual Monday morning e-mails as she waits for her food.

She should go home and rest. It’s taking her three times longer to read than usual.

Eve knock on her door somewhere after the 5th reply she drafted. She murmurs a quiet “I’m just glad you’re ok, Miss Luthor” when she apologizes to the blonde once more.

“Doctor Colin called. He said you missed your last appointment. He’s been calling you, but your phone is off.” She adds before leaving the office.

_Fuck._

“Thank you, Eve.”

The appointment with her therapist was Saturday. She pays extra to schedule it on the weekend and she completely forgot about it.

She turns on her phone with the intention to call him back but suddenly…

She remembers why she left the phone on the couch.

Kara.

_Kara._

She opens the draft Kelly made.

_Hello. This is Lena Luthor. You gave me your number at lunch. This is mine._

She doesn’t know how long she stares at those letters with her finger hoovering over the _send_ button. She’s so focused on it that she’s startlee when her intern phone rings.

_Just do it, coward._

She presses send without giving it a second thought.

“Yes, Eve?” She answers, hoping the sheer panic isn’t noticeable through the phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyway, i hope you liked it. next chapter: mopey Kara.


	5. Kara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cat makes an appearance. and is something resembling nice.

“You’re pouty.” Cat comments as Kara delivers her the proposed front covers of this week’s edition. But before she can deny her poutiness, her boss continues. “These are all crap. Tell Mr. Olsen he has many decent photos of a very decent looking woman. He should use them.”

Kara grabs back the covers (ignoring her will to say Lena was much more than just “decent looking”) and checks her notes.

“Miss Rojas called. She has a new proposition for…”

“Tell her the answer is still no.”

She takes note and continues on her list.

“Spheer industries replied during the weekend…”´

“Add their response to the article, I don’t care what it is.”

“And your therapist called…”

“Schedule it for Thursday at 18:30.”

“Yes, ma’am.” She turns to leave, as she learned long she shouldn’t stay in her office for a second longer than necessary. However, she gets interrupted mid track.

“Kiera?”

“Yes, Miss Grant? Anything else you need?”

“Where is the draft I asked of you?”

“Oh… right. I… uh…” She nervously adjusts her glasses.

“Words, Keira. Use them.” Her boss orders, clearly annoyed by the blonde’s hesitance.

“I was hoping to proof read it one last time…”

“In my desk before lunch or don’t bother. I’ll be very disappointed if you don’t bother, am I understood?”

“Yes, Miss Grant.”

Miss Grant waves her off and she quickly leave before she gets yelled at.

She sighs as she sit at her desk. Miss Grant was right. She is pouty. She’s been pouty all weekend, according to her sister. And she’s reminded why as she opens her draft.

Lena didn’t text her. 5 days passed and ratio silence. She had hold her hope for game night, but when Kelly came alone, she suddenly didn’t feel like playing anymore.

She can’t figure out why, but she really likes the brunette. She really wanted to be friends with her, but now she thinks the feeling probably isn’t mutual.

That thought alone pangs her heart a little bit.

She stares at her draft again, to distract herself (even though, given the theme of said draft, it isn’t much of a distraction). She must’ve read and re-read it a thousand times already. She asked Nia, J’onn and even Kelly to proof read it as well (Alex refused to do so after being asked for 4th read). She was still not convinced of what her sister and Lena had said, but after their lunch, a small voice appeared in her head, telling her that she should make sure it’s the best work she ever produced, just in case.

What’s bothering her the most is that she wants it to be real so badly. She wants to become a reporter. That has been her ultimate goal ever sense she arrived to earth. She wants to tell stories about real people, she wants her words to inspire, warn, bring knowledge about the world around her. But she also doesn’t want to get her hopes up.

Fresh out of college, she sent her resume to CatCo, with the intention of getting intern job under one of biggest media empires in the world. She wasn’t expecting for Cat Grant herself to conduct her interview and consequently hire her on the spot. She was expecting even less to last as long as she did, considering her position had notoriously never been occupied by the same person for more than a couple months, record that she’s been smashing every day for the past 3 years.

And she likes being Cat’s assistant. Despite what everyone says, she really does like her job. Even if it’s utterly exhausting, she doubts anyone in that building had learn more about the industry than her. She just hopes one day she can put said knowledge to practice.

She’s halfway through her draft when her phone rings. She absently checks it, assuming it’s Alex to schedule lunch.

**Unknown:**

_Hello. This is Lena Luthor. You gave me your number at lunch. This is mine._

Kara nearly drops her phone.

_Holy shit._

**Kara:**

_Hi! I’m glad you texted! :D_

_How is it going?_

She smiles at her phone. _Ok, maybe Mondays aren’t so bad_.

“Kara? Earth to Kara.” Winn brings her back to reality.

“Yes. Sorry.” She turns to her friend.

“Nothing. You just seemed hypnotized by your phone, that’s all. Are you ok?”

“Oh. Yes, thank you.” She smiles to her very confused friend and turns back to her computer.

_She texted me. I can’t believe she texted me!_

She goes through her draft once again, but this time, she dares fondly remember the woman behind the words. She no longer needs a distraction. She’s hopeful again.

Her phone vibrates.

**Lena:**

_I’m going well. I’m sorry I took so long to say anything. Work has been crazy._

**Kara:**

_It’s ok. I know you’re a busy woman._

_I was actually reviewing my draft about you._

_For the article._

**Lena:**

_Has Cat read what you wrote?_

**Kara:**

_No. Not yet._

_I’m giving her my draft in a bit._

**Lena:**

_So, are you going to ask her about her intentions?_

Kara hesitates.

She doesn’t want to ask her. She likes her boss, but she’d be lying if she said Cat didn’t scare her. She thinks about it as she prints her text and all the paperwork for Cat and e-mails James about the covers. She then goes back to Cat’s office.

“Here’s the contracts for the transfer of Leslie Willis and the proposed piece from Mr. Dey. And… my draft.” She places everything on the desk and is promptly let go with the usual uninterested wave of hand.

She shakingly picks up her phone as she sits down.

**Kara:**

_I just deliver it._

**Lena:**

_What did she say?_

**Kara:**

_Nothing._

_I just delivered it and she sent me away._

_Or waved me away._

_Yeah, waved away._

**Lena:**

_So, you chickened out._

**Kara:**

_I did not!_

_I just need to find the right moment._

**Lena:**

_There’s never a right moment._

She stares at the screen.

There’s never a right moment.

She remembers Kelly saying something similar. About how the brain scavenges for reasons to not leave its comfort zone. Often, those reasons are valid and only meant to protect a person’s integrity and mental stability, much like a survival instinct. But then, there’s moments like this, where that instinct should just shut the hell up.

Kara is fine with risking her physical integrity, mostly because said integrity is basically invulnerable. And she’s very comfortable socially as well. At least, she thinks she is.

But Cat Grant…

To be fair, though…

**Kara:**

_Look, everyone is scared of Cat Grant._

_Even you._

**Lena:**

_I’ve faced Morgan Edge and won. Your boss is a kitten compared to that._

Kara giggles at that. Yeah, maybe Morgan Edge was scarier than Cat. He was crueler, at least.

Lena’s takeover of part of his empire at just 22 was nothing short of impressive.

“Keira!” She hears her boss call, pulling her out of her thoughts.

“Yes, Miss Grant.” She says as she nervously stumbles into the office.

“Approve Mr. Dey’s piece and send it to Mr. Olsen to adjust to the page.” Her boss orders, her eyes never leaving her tablet. “And order me 3 Big Belly Burger for lunch, with fries and tea.”

“Thr- Three?” She never eats this much. 3 burgers is something well within Kara’s standard for what she considers a “normal lunch”, but Cat barely ate meat as it is. She only tells her to order any sort of unhealthy food when something particularly stressful is about to happen, like her mother passing by.

Miss Grant annoyingly looks up.

“Did I stutter? Go. Move. Come back when it arrives.”

“Yes, Miss Grant.” She leaves before she gets told off again.

_What’s going on with her?_

She sits back in her desk and orders the food anyway. If Cat is this stressed, the last thing she wanna do is to defy her. She’d seen people getting fired for less. Once it arrives, she immediately delivers it to her desk and is about to leave when...

“Where are you going?”

“I…”

“Keira, do you really think I’d eat this disgusting amount of grease and meat by myself? Close the door and sit down.”

“Oh. Yes Miss Grant.” She obeys and settles on the couch in front of her boss.

“I’ve been told you eat for 3, is that correct?”

“Uh… yeah, I guess.” She blushes. It’s a bit embarrassing to be called out by her own boss on her eating habits. Still, she doesn’t dare to touch any of the food. She lost her appetite anyway.

“We have much to discuss.” Cat continues, taking a burger out.

“We do?”

“Yes, we do, Kiera.” She stares at her with a pointed, defying look and gives Kara the chills. “Is there anything you want to ask me?”

Kara looks at her wide eyed, but her face gives nothing away.

_This is your chance,_ she tells to her panic self. _Take it._

_Do what Lena said. Be brave._

She takes a deep breath and risks it.

“Why did you send me to L-Corp alone?”

“I was stuck in traffic, Keira.” She admonishes her, but something’s different. Kara notices a glint of encouragement in her eyes that’s not usually there. So, she decides to risk everything, her job, livelihood, life (because if anyone can find a way to kill her in this planet, it would be Cat Grant) and contradicts her boss.

“Miss Grant, you don’t let traffic stop you from getting here on time every day, I doubt it would prevent you from getting to an interview you wanted so much.”

For a fraction of a second, Kara sees a small smile of pride in her boss’s lips, so faint she’s pretty sure she would’ve missed if it wasn’t for her super speed, and suddenly she feels incredibly proud of herself. Displays of joy or pride are very rare from Miss Grant, she remembers maybe four in the three years she’s been around, and all of them while talking about her son. Getting a smile from Miss Grant, however faint and quick it may be, is probably the biggest achievement of her life.

Her boss picks one of the burgers and gives it to Kara, who slowly, as discretely as she can, unwraps it and starts eating, biting back her urge to moan. _God, I love Big Belly Burger._

“I have many reasons.” Cat starts in her usual, almost poetic tone. “The biggest one being that Lena Luthor would never give me anything. She would be guarded and alert, evade questions like she does with all other journalists she encounters. But you, Keira, aren’t a journalist. In her eyes, you’re a stumbling assistant that’s way too excited about everything and that’s trying to fill her boss’s very expensive shoes. I thought you might be the key to crack open her secrets. And I was right, as usual.”

“You had me write a full piece. You never did that before.”

“I’ve had you as an assistant for 3 years, 2 months and 4 days. Give or take. And you still haven’t annoyed me enough to get you fired. You’re hard working, loyal, clever and resourceful. Don’t think I didn’t notice that, Kara.” She raises her head at the sound of her name. Her actual name. “I thought you had earned your chance. Up until an hour ago, I thought you’d wasted that chance. And I must say, that would’ve annoyed me enough for you to get dismissed permanently.”

“I was proof reading it.” Kara quickly justifies between bites, feeling her cheeks burning up.

“You need to read faster if you want to become a reporter. I can’t have people delivering me cover pieces for review the day of printing.”

_Hold on._

“C-cover pieces?!” Her voice goes up three octaves, almost letting her burger fall in her lap.

“Frankly, Keira, what did you think I was going to do with your draft? Frame it? Your prose is not bad, but it’s not that good.”

“I… I don’t…” She takes a deep breath.

This is arguably a lot to take in. How come 10 minutes ago she was just an assistant organizing her boss’s life and now said boss is actually considering what her wrote worthy of a cover? She wasn’t ready for that, was she?

“Why didn’t you tell me I was writing an actual piece?”

“The fact that you’re too dense to come to that conclusion on your own isn’t my problem.” Cat retorts, making Kara blush again.

“What happens now?”

“Now,” Cat gets up and walks to her desk. “You’re going to be the first debut journalist to publish the main story in the history of CatCo magazine. Quite a feat, if you ask me.” She picks up a few pages and comes back. “You still need to improve, of course. You’re too emotional in your writing, you need to be more objective, and you ramble too much for my liking. But all that can be fixed with practice.” She hands Kara the texts, where she can see a few corrections and sections crossed. “Re-write those bits and send it to Mr. Olsen.”

“Are you… are you promoting me?”

“I’m not just throwing you to the wolves to fend for yourself right after your first piece, a cover piece none the less. I invested too much time and energy on you to let that happen. No, you’ll keep doing what you do every day, and I’ll give you a piece to write every now and then. You’ll slowly earn your place in this magazine. And then, when you do, you’ll help me find a new assistant.”

“I… I don’t know what to say.”

“I’ll need your piece done by the end of the day,” Cat continues as Kara hadn’t said anything. “And I need a table for 3 at La Vie for 7 pm. Ask for a private booth. And schedule manage the meeting with Carr for tomorrow morning. That little weasel needs an earful every now and then. Chop chop. You can take the burgers with you.”

“Yes, Miss Grant.” Kara gets up and gets the food bags.

“And take that dopey smile off your face. You smiling on your way out of my office is damaging on my reputation.”

“Yes, Miss Grant.” She says as she tries her best to look as serious as possible. She turns around to leave, but decides to add something else. “And thank you. I don’t know if you’re aware, but this really means a lot to me.” She walks out of the office before her boss has a chance to reply.

This has probably been the best day of her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's very hard to write from Kara's perspective. i did my best, but i don't think it's great.  
> I hope you like it anyway.
> 
> Comments on my writing (grammar, syntax, story lines, characterization, exposition, any and all other aspects) are more than welcomed. i need help to improve my writing. Also, tell me if the style i chose for the text messages is perceptible or any changes i need to make. i thought it was clear, but i'm not sure.


	6. Lena

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mini movie night and Kara doesn't shut up.
> 
> This includes social interactions, so, it was obviously a pain for me to write. but i hope you like it.
> 
> Comments with constructive criticism are very much appreciated.

**Kara:**

_I did it._

_She said she wanted me to do it._

_She thought I’d have a better chance to get stuff from you._

_Also, my article is gonna be on CatCo magazine._

_ON THE FRINT PAGE!_

_*FRONT!_

_I SEND IT TO JAMES TO PRINT._

_Oh. Sorry. Forgot to turn off the caps._

_Anyway, are you busy tonight?_

The string of messages comes within 10 seconds of each other late afternoon and Lena breaths in relief. After the lack of reply just before lunch, she thought she had made Kara upset.

**Lena:**

_Congratulations._

_Unfortunately, I have a zoom meeting at 7 pm today, so I am, indeed, busy._

_I apologize._

**Kara:**

_Oh._

_That’s ok._

_Another time, then._

_Another time._ Those two words scare her with so much joy she can barely breathe.

**Lena:**

_Another time._

**Kara:**

_When are you free?_

That’s how it starts. It still takes a while. Lena still tries to be guarded. But Kara’s constant overenthusiasm is contagious. By Friday (and no doubt thanks to a little suggestion from Kelly), the blonde shows up with dinner for her when Lena said she had to work late. They text practically every day, sometimes for hours on end. According to her therapist, their interaction shows an improvement when it comes to her social life and Lena doesn’t bother telling her that it’s not an actual effort.

After a month (and every excuse in the book), Lena gathers up the courage to admit to the woman that the real reason she doesn’t come to game night is because it’s too out of her comfort zone. To her surprise, the blonde is very understanding.

**Kara:**

_That’s ok._

_I get it._

_A bunch of strangers and all._

_How about if it’s just me, you and Alex and Kelly?_

_Like our lunch?_

She still thinks about it for a few hours and after some emotional support from Kelly, she gather up the courage to reply.

**Lena:**

_I’d like that._

They schedule for the following Saturday in Alex and Kelly’s home and Lena promised no excuses. She ends up running late because of work, but she does show up with wine and pastries, much to the sisters’ delight.

“Now, that’s how you make a good impression.” Alex cheers, raising her own glass of wine when Lena walks in, while Kara practically runs to her to get the pastry box. “Kara, you’re not eating sugar for dinner.” She admonishes.

“But I’m hungry!” The blonde protests, the box already halfway open.

“Just wait until the food gets here, damn it!”

Kara pouts but turns to Lena and grabs her hand.

“C’mon.” She pulls her, completely ignoring the heat on Lena’s cheeks. “We’re picking a movie and I need back- up.”

As she walks through the apartment, she looks around at the cozy space. Their house is not too big, but still seems spacious and open, and has Kelly’s touch all over it, from the softly colored pillows to the high tech gaming system under the very large TV. On the far left, there’s a few dark, sober looking folding screens that hide what she assumes is the bedroom. She sits on the light green couch next to Kara, greeting her hosts sitting across the room is college sweaters and fuzzy socks. She’s so glad Kara warned her about coming in comfortable cloches because her usual suits and high heels would have been very off place here.

“We’re not watching a musical.” Alex states once they sit down.

“Oh, c’mon! You picked the last one!” Kara complains. “Why can I pick for a change?”

“Because you start singing and don’t let me watch it!”

“I do not!”

“Yes, you do.” Kelly laughs. “How about you two let the guest decide?”

“Uh… What are options?” Lena asks awkwardly when she finds all eyes on her. Kelly promptly hands her the tablet and she goes through their options.

She didn’t want to give it away. She tried her best to make a fair choice.

But she can’t resist how hopeful Kara’s eyes look.

So, she ignores the fact that she hates soulmate rom coms. Or that she doesn’t really care for musicals.

“The musical seems like the best option.” She says, keeping her voice as neutral as possible.

“YES!”

“NO!”

“What?”

“It’s the only one I haven’t watched.” Lena justifies and, to be fair, it is true. She doesn’t really watch musicals, while the other two (a psychological thriller and some cheesy action comedy movie) were already somewhat familiar to her.

However, before any of them can argue with her logic (although Alex does slip in a “Yeah, for good reason!” in), the doorbell rings.

“Food!” Kara jumps from the couch to go greet the delivery man, making Alex roll her eyes.

“I swear to god, Kara…”

“What did you order?” Lena quietly asks Kelly as the two sisters bicker at the door.

“Wei Foo’s. It’s the one thing they can agree on.” Kelly smiles. “And please, try to relax a little. They’re really nice, they won’t judge you.”

“Alex…”

“Alex is tough and defensive, but she’s not mean. And I’ll keep her in check if she is, don’t worry.” She reassures her.

The sisters finally come back, with enough to feed 10 people.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you.” Lena starts as Kara hands her a noodle box and some chopsticks. “How do you eat that much? I feel like your stomach shouldn’t have room for all that."

“Idunno.” The blonde shrugs with her mouth filled with a dumpling. “I just eat until I’m not hungry anymore.”

“By the time she’s not hungry anymore, it’s time for her to eat again, and the cycle continues.” Alex teases.

“Shut up.”

“How much do you spend on food?” Lena asks, curious.

“Ummmm…” Kara blushes and looks down at her chicken noodle.

“About the same she pays in rent.” Alex laughs.

“Can we just watch the movie, please?” Kara pouts.

Alex groans, but presses play anyway. They all get cozy in the couches, with the food awkwardly balanced all around them and on the coffee table as the first cords of the opening song start to play.

Lena doesn’t pay much attention to the TV for the next hour and a half. It’s a normal swashbuckling story about soulmates of different social classes with music thrown into it. Not exactly her type of thing.

What is fun to watch, however, is Kara’s melodic sing along and Alex’s banter and pillow throwing whenever she’s trying to hit that top note. The playful nonsense between the sisters is, in her opinion, much more entertaining than any movie. She can’t remember the last time she laughed this hard for this long. By the time the last, triumphant notes are played, as the main characters engage in a very dance-y wedding, Kara is trying really hard (and failing miserably) to pout and Alex has two pillows ready for when the blonde tries that final note.

“Will you stop that?!” The blonde finally snaps and yells.

“Will you shut up?” Her sister just laughs.

“Well, excuse me if I like to sing!”

“It’s distracting. I can’t focus on the story.”

“You didn’t even want to watch it!” Kara argues, fighting hard to not burst into laughter.

Alex responds by throwing another pillow to the blonde’s face that is caught in one hand and immediately thrown back with more force than Lena thought was necessary.

“Right in the face!” Kara rejoices, throwing her arms up in celebration.

“Are they always like this?” Lena quietly asks Kelly between giggles.

“This is them behaving. You should see them on game night when we force them to be in separate teams.”

“Why do you force them apart?”

“Because they get jealous of us always winning.” Alex states smugly.

“And Kara, please don’t throw pillows that hard. It’s a bit uncomfortable when the zipper hits us.” Kelly gently asks, discretely rubbing her forehead.

“Oh. Sorry, Kelly.”

“Dude, you hit _me_!” Alex protests.

“Because _you_ deserve it!”

Alex throws another pillow in Kara’s direction, but it’s intercepted by Kelly.

“Will you two stop now? We have guests.”

The sisters look down in shame, but Lena can see the underlying smiles in both their faces.

“So,” Kara turns to her. “What did you think?”

Lena doesn’t have the heart to destroy the hopes of those shiny eyes, so, she points out the few parts she paid attention to as the things she liked. But, much like she did in their interview, Kara see right through her.

“You didn’t really like it, did you?” She pouts.

“I’m sorry. Fairytales and soulmate stories aren’t really my thing. You two were very entertaining, though.”

“What? Soulmates are the best thing!”

“I don’t really believe that there’s only one person in the world that would make you happy.” Lena explains, looking down and resisting the urge to pull out her phone.

While she would admit to herself that she didn’t really, truly believe that, her façade of pragmatic, rational business woman has to be kept, even among friends. She let Kara in, but the blonde can’t go that far. Not yet.

“Well, I wouldn’t put it like that, but I think it’s amazing that there’s someone out there with a cosmic, unexplained connection to us.”

“Not to me.” She laughs humorlessly and immediately regrets it.

“What do you mean?” Kara follows up. Her intensely curious blue eyes make Lena avoid her gaze and her eyes end up landing on Kelly, who’s hand in hand with her wife, as Alex’s thumb softly rubs hers up and down. She had noticed it before, but it throws her off how delicate Alex is with Kelly through little gestures, despite her tough and hard exterior. Her friend gives her an encouraging smile with kind eyes that says “You don’t owe her an answer, but it would be good for you”.

“I… I don’t really have one.” She finally admits as she takes a long sip of wine.

“Oh.” Kara’s mood suddenly drops. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok. I’ve gotten used to it.” She shrugs, wanting nothing more than to move on.

But no such luck.

“Do you know what happened?” Alex asks before Kelly has time to say anything against it.

“I don’t know. It happened when I was a teen. I felt something tight in my chest and then… nothing.” She takes a deep breath, noting the environment took a major dip. “How about your soulmate?” She tries to take the attention away from the depressing topic. “Do you know who it is?”

“Are you sure you don’t want to change subject?” The blonde asks, visibly concerned.

“I wouldn’t’ve asked.” She reassures her.

“I have no idea, to be honest.” She bashfully admits. “I just know they’re in this planet and that they’re careful, ‘cause I don’t feel a whole lot. I also think they’re somewhere in this time zone, because I don’t wake up in pain.”

_Wait._

“This planet?”

“God damn it, Kara.” Alex shakes her head.

“Yeah, I… I’m an alien?”

Lena stares at her, speechless.

She doesn’t look like an alien. She only met a few aliens in her life, most working for her company, but they all look… alien. Some scales, cat-like eyes, blue skin… But Kara? She looks human. Completely human. There’s nothing visible that would make her any different of any other person.

“You’re… an alien.”

“Yes.”

“From where?”

“Far away.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“I don’t wanna answer it.”

_Ok, fair enough_.

“How did you became sisters?”

“I was fostered by her family when I got here.”

“Why did you leave your planet?”

“My soulmate was found here.” She shrugs.

“Hold on. Your soulmate was _found_ here?”

“My people have this machine that locates your soulmate based on your… essence, I guess? They found mine was on earth, so, I was sent here.”

“Alone? As a kid? Did they tell you who it is at least?”

“Nope. You can’t know as a kid. It’s not seen as fair or correct, to dictate someone’s life at such a young age.” Kara whispers as she nervously plays with the seam of her shirt.

“But shipping a kid off to space is?!” She asks, only getting a shrug in response. “Did you ask them who it was, you know, when you became an adult?”

“I don’t want to find out like that.” She shakes her head.

“What do you mean?”

“In Kr… where I’m from, everyone expects to know, so, I could ask the machine who they are knowing my soulmate could too. But here, you don’t have that. It feels wrong that I would know for sure who they are without even meeting them when they don’t have that privilege. It feels… stalker-y.” She shrugs again, taking another donut from Lena’s box. “I also don’t really feel like contacting them.”

Lena doesn’t need to ask why. It’s arguably cruel to leave a kid to their own devices in a foreign planet. She’s aware that every planet has cultures she would never understand. At one point, he had an employee who saw the act of showing emotion and using figure of speech as rude and unprofessional. Of course he respected that humans worked different, but he was always very direct, emotionless and overly honest, which made working with him often awkward and prone to misunderstandings. Another partner of hers was a nocturne creature, so she would start working shortly after sunset instead of the usual 9 to 5. Lena and everyone at the company managed to accommodate them despite their habits being “weird”.

But abandoning a kid when their soulmate doesn’t belong to them?

That was something she couldn’t understand.

“Did they ever tried to contact you back?”

“Sort of. They tried to contact my cousin when I came here and…”

“You have a cousin on earth?!” Lena interrupts.

Kara cringes at the question.

“Kara, how about you shut your mouth?” Alex suggests.

“I won’t tell anyone.” Lena defends herself.

“It’s not that.” The sister quickly explains. “She’s a blabber mouth. And an over-sharer.”

“I’m not!”

“You just told her you’re an alien and proceeded to explain your whole life story. On accident.”

“It’s Lena! We’re friends! It’s ok with her.”

Lena lowers her eyes at that.

The closer she and Kara become, the more she frowns to the word _friends_. She’s been working on not being in denial about her own feelings, so she can’t pretend she doesn’t know why.

She likes Kara. More than she should.

And it’s not fair, because Kara believes in soulmates. It’s only a matter of time before she finds hers and then what? She can’t take another Jack situation.

“It’s completely different! I can trust Lena.”

“I know, but you still need to be careful. Lena is trustworthy, but tell me to my face you never over-shared something like this with strangers on accident.” Kara doesn’t comment and stares down at her half eaten donut. Alex takes a deep breath to calm herself before continue. “You tend to trust people too much. You think the best of people, Kelly is exactly the same thing. People sometimes aren’t the best, Kara. They can use you, abuse your trust.”

“I agree.” Lena finds herself saying. The more Alex talks, the more she’s scared for Kara. “Some people are not ok with aliens. You didn’t know if I belonged to that group or not.”

“I did.”

“No, you didn’t. I’m very glad you trust me, Kara, thank you for that, but you need to be more careful. There are people who would hurt you, hurt your family if they found out.” She shutters thinking about her brother and his own ideals on the matter. “You have the luxury of being able to hide, you look human. Take advantage of that and stay safe, please.”

“That’s not fair. That I get to hide, while other suffer for existing and not blending in.” Kara comments, seeming like she’s about to cry.

“The world isn’t fair, darling. I’m sorry.” Lena offers her hand and, to her surprise, the blonde takes it. It’s warm and covered in powdered sugar, and Lena never felt this… electrified.

Their conversations get lighter and less depressing after that. They laugh, watch another movie, Kara eats half the donuts she brought and Alex downs half the wine (damn, that woman can drink). It’s way past midnight when she calls her driver to pick her up. Kara accompanies her to the car despite the cold and snow outside and hugs and kisses her on the cheek (obviously making her blush) before wishing her a goodnight.

They do the same the follow Saturday night and the one after. On the fourth, Kara’s friend and coworker Nia is invited and their friend J’onn comes the following weekend. Finally, Kara once again invites her to game night, arguing that she’s already familiar with over half the “gang”, to which she accepts after a little push from the ever helpful Kelly.

By Thursday, she finds herself actually excited. Kara talks extensively about the people she doesn’t know, from the bright and awkward Brainy, to Winn and his boyfriend who are polar opposites of one another but manage to work. They talk about the games and teams (Kara promises she’ll be on hers, which isn’t helpful on Lena’s heart) and what to bring (per Alex’s request, Lena is in charge of the wine).

**Kara:**

_I can’t wait for tomorrow._

**Lena:**

_Me neither._

_Goodnight._

**Kara:**

_Goodnight. xoxo_

Except that, on Friday, she wakes up feverish and throwing up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you liked it.  
> i had a little more after that last sentence, but i figured a new way of showing that. this is a better ending.  
> anyway, i hope you enjoyed it.


	7. Kara

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smaller chapter than usual, but i really wanted to give Alex and Kelly their backstory, and i also needed to make Kara reflect, so, i joined the two. i'm not sure it's that great, but there ya go. :D

“Alex!” Kara keeps knocking her sister’s front door first thing Saturday morning. “I need to talk to you! Please! It’s urgent!”

The door is opened by a very angry Alex in a robe.

“You better have a fucking good reason, Danvers.”

“I think Lena is my soulmate.” She whispers, in tears.

“Oh.” Alex’s eyebrows raise up, her mood instantly calmer. She fully opens the door and lets Kara into the currently very dark apartment.

“Good morning, Kara.” Kelly greets her from the kitchen in a very tired voice as she makes what Kara assumes is her morning tea.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry. You’re clearly distressed.” She gives a coffee mug to her wife and sits down, encouraging Kara to do so as well. “What’s on your mind?”

“My… my head hurts.”

“Is that all?” Alex asks impatiently.

“Babe, let your sister speak.”

“It started yesterday, and I just figured my soulmate was sick.”

“Ok…”

“Lena got sick yesterday.” Kelly explains to Alex. “It took some convincing, but she went home early.”

It hadn’t been easy, though. Kara got a call from Kelly explaining the situation. It took her, Kelly and a friend of Lena’s named Sam to get the CEO away from her desk. The woman was a true workaholic.

“We kept texting and talking and I got this really bad stomach cramps when she stopped answering. Then I heard her throw up and _I_ felt better. Alex, it’s her. I just know it.” She insists in-between sobs.

“Ok. You just found your soulmate. Why are you sad?” Alex scotches closer and puts her free arm around her sister comfortingly.

“She thinks I’m dead, Alex! I’m the reason she doesn’t believe in soulmates!”

“It’s not your fault you can’t get hurt on earth.” Her sister argues.

“It’s not hers either. What am I supposed to do now? She’s gonna hate me.” She cries.

“Kara, look at me.” Alex hushes her. “I can tell you from experience. She’s not gonna hate you. It wasn’t your fault, and she’ll see that. I never hated Kelly.” She looks lovingly to her soulmate, who smiles back in a manner that feels too intimate for Kara to be observing it.

Alex and Kelly’s bond hadn’t been easy. Kelly especially hadn’t had it easy, since Alex wasn’t the most careful child. Alex would play soccer, climb on and off of trees, fall on her motorcycle more times than she can count. And yet, the most pain in their life’s started on Kelly’s side.

5 years ago, Kelly had a severe car crash that left her in a coma. Kara remembers it like it was yesterday. She had gone to have lunch with Alex, who was an intern at the time. They were talking in the maintenance hall when Alex suddenly screamed in pain. She had been in agony for over an hour before everything suddenly stopped. Alex cried for days, so Kara set herself up to find who her soulmate was, even if just to give her sister some kind of closure.

Lucky or not, she didn’t have to look too far. The accident was gruesome and tragic enough to make it to the local news of a town three hours away. Kelly was going there to visit her mother when a driver going too fast cut the curve and crashed front first into her. Miraculously, Kelly had survived. She was in an induced coma at the local hospital, and Kara figured out that her injuries matched what Alex had felt.

From that point on, Alex would visit her almost every day. She didn’t care that her only sleep hours were on a bus or that she was living off of energy drinks almost exclusively. She wanted to make sure Kelly was ok, at all costs. She (and by extent, Kara) spent so much time there they became acquainted with her family, including her big brother James, who they became great friends with over time.

Then, one day, Alex felt her throat hurt. She got so used to just feel her own pain she thought she may have been getting sick. Throughout the day, however, it had gotten worse and worse to the point where she decided to skip a surgery she was supposed to be observing and went home instead.

However, before she even got to her place, James called her in distress, telling how his sister’s stats have been all over the place the whole day, and that the doctors have been proven uncaring and unhelpful, to say the least. It took her all of ten seconds for her to figure out what was wrong: Kelly was trying to breath on her own.

She immediately rushed over and, after a screaming match with the head of the intensive care unit and telling a couple of nurses to “get fucked”, she managed to convince them to take Kelly off of the ventilator (“at your own risk”, they had arrogantly told her). Not two hours later, the woman opened her eyes for the first time in over three months.

“It’s different.” Kara argued. “You only thought she was…” She doesn’t dare say it. She knows it still bothers Kelly, no matter how much time passes. She was still, understandably, very traumatized and still had nightmares of the whole event. “We found out Kelly was alive in a couple of weeks. Lena thinks I’m gone for half our lives! 13 years, Alex! Imagine that!”

She can’t believe she never considered it. You would’ve thought she would after what happened to her sister, right? How the hell didn’t it ever occur to her that her soulmate would only feel her invulnerability?!

“Kara.” Kelly calls her attention. “I’ve known Lena for a little while longer than you. If you tell her, it will be a shock for her. And you know she takes her time processing emotions. You’ll need to give her time and space. But she won’t hate you.”

“What if she does?”

“She won’t”

“What if she does, Kelly?” She finally shouts, sobbing. “She hates soulmates, she doesn’t see herself with one, she thinks I’m dead and built her life with that in mind. Who am I to ruin that, ruin her entire life’s prespective?”

“You’re just scared.”

“Of course I’m scared! Wouldn’t you be?”

“I understand your fear, Kara, I do. But you have to be brave. For you and for her. Because you can know who she is, but she doesn’t have that privilege. It’s in your hands.”

“That only makes it scarier.”

Alex laughs.

“You’ll figure it out, sis.”

She’s not entire sure of that, but she decides to take the comfort anyway. She goes home to try and relax (which obviously involves Netflix and a whole lot of junk food) and take her mind off of the gorgeous brunette that she’s now sure to be her soulmate.

It doesn’t work in the slightest. The insistent pang on her head is a pretty unnerving reminder of her.

She’s not entirely sure how to feel about her new found discovery, though. She had already come to the conclusion Lena was special to her months ago. Lena was guarded and had a tough exterior, but Kara was able to see through her walls from day one. Lena was clever and witty and gentle Kara found herself wanting as much proximity with the woman as possible. Because of that, of course she realized that the nature of their relationship was deeper than just a friendship.

But soulmates?

Before yesterday, she never really considered any kind of romantic relationship with Lena. Not consciously, at least.

But if she’s thinking about it, really thinking about it…

She can’t help but to smile at the idea.

Hours later, she feels a stab on her stomach she can’t take it anymore.

**Kara:**

_Hey._

_How are you feeling?_

She spends the next twenty minutes staring at her phone before a message pops up.

**Lena:**

_Not great. I don’t think I can come to game night._

**Kara:**

_Don’t worry about that._

_Do you need anything?_

_I can pop over._

**Lena:**

_That’s ok, darling. I’ll manage._

Kara doesn’t buy it. Lena is known for avoiding help by any means. _I’ll manage_ , coming from Lena Luthor, means _I’m dying._ And since Kara does feel like dying, she decides to do something about it.

But first, a call.

“Hey, Kelly. Sorry to bother you again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter: some cute things, if i can manage to write them. (i figure said cute things would be funnier to write from the emotionally repressed Lena)  
> Wish me luck.
> 
> (Comments are very much appreciated)


	8. Lena

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I tried to write cute shit.  
> i don't think it quite worked, but here ya go.  
> it's mostly cute filler of Kara being Kara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry this is so late. it's been kinda hard to write, and the chapter was going nowhere for quite a while. the world is crazy, i may have to delete whatsapp and I kinda hate my job, but most importantly, i never wrote cutsy stuff before, so, comments on how i could improve are much apreciated.

The ringtone on her phone makes her head ache even more. She aimlessly mutes it and turns around in the bed. No matter how much she twists and turns, she can’t get comfortable. She’s both too cold and too hot, her head is still pounding and the lack of sleep (because of course her body wouldn’t give her that sweet relief) isn’t helping.

She was going to the office today, to compensate for yesterday, but she barely has the energy to get out of bed. She’s been in pain and dry heaving and cold sweating all morning. It’s like her body wants her to suffer, whether she moves or not.

_Just stay in bed_ , Kelly had said. Several times. Made her promise, in fact. And when she complained about it to Kara this morning, the blonde just laugh.

“Remember to thank her later.”

Her phone rings again. Lena would groan, but she doesn’t even have the energy for that.

“Hello?” She ends up picking up. Hopefully, the person will quit and leave her alone after. Or she’ll just turn off her phone. It’s been years since she last did that, but right now, it seems like a good idea.

“Hey!” Kara greets her, to her surprise. “What kind of medicine do you already have?”

“What?”

“’Cause I have all the comfort food and blankets and ice-cream, but you also need medicine and I don’t know what you usually take for stomach flu.”

“What are you talking about?” Lena asks, thoroughly confuse, but now fully aware.

“Oh. Right. I’m going there. Is there anything else you need?”

_Oh no._

_No no no._

“You can’t come here.”

“Why not?”

“Well, you don’t know where I live, for starters.”

“Kelly told me.”

_God fucking damn it._ If Kelly told her where she lived, that means what Kara’s doing is Kelly approved, which means it probably makes sense and Lena is really not liking this.

“Give me a minute.” She says before ending the call.

_This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening._

She speed-dials Kelly in a panic.

“Don’t even start.” Her friend picks up on the second ring.

“Kelly, what the hell?! You could’ve at least asked me first before leading people to my house.”

“It’s not people, it’s Kara. And you would’ve said _no_ and we all know it. It’s why she asked me and not you.”

“So, I don’t have a say about…” she stops to cough, probably not helping her argument, but she continues, nonetheless. “about whom enters my house now.”

“Don’t be dramatic.” She admonishes her. “Lena, tell me right now that you don’t feel like shit. Tell me you don’t feel even worse than you were yesterday. Tell me that Kara’s help and support wouldn’t be welcomed.”

_Ok, fair._ She can’t say that, though. She’s getting a little tired of Kelly knowing everything about her. Granted, as a licensed therapist, it is kind of her job, but still.

“I don’t like when you make decisions for me.” She pouts.

“You’re a person of a lot of extremes. Especially when it comes to your own physical and emotional good. You need a push sometimes. You told me that yourself.”

“What if I get Kara sick?”

“You won’t. Alien, remember?”

“Right.” That bit of information still hadn’t quite registered in her brain yet.

“Lena, I know it’s hard for you to accept help from others, but you can rely on Kara, just like you rely on me. She cares for you as much as you care for her.” Lena feels a pang in her heart hearing that, but doesn’t comment. “Wouldn’t you try to take care of Kara if she was the one being sick?”

Her pause tells Kelly everything she needs to know.

“Let her help you. Please. Because if you don’t, I’ll have to leave my wife on her day off to take care of you myself, and we’d be slightly upset at that.”

“Fine.” She concedes, mostly because doesn’t doubt Kelly’s word for one second and she doesn’t want to ruin the couple’s weekend. “But next time, give me a heads-up, please?”

“Deal. Bye, honey.”

Her friend hangs up and she’s left alone once again with her own panic.

Kara’s coming and she’s being throwing up all morning.

Kara’s coming and she’s sweaty and feverish.

_I’m so fucked._

She picks up her phone. She decides pretty quickly she doesn’t want to call the blonde back, but she’s not entirely sure what to write. Fortunately, and after staring at screen for half an hour, the device decides to light up, making the decision for her.

**Kara:**

_I’m at the supermarket._

_I got milk, chocolate, ice-cream, electrolytes and carrots._

_I’m gonna get donuts after._

_I can stop by the pharmacy._

_Is there anything you need from there?_

She smiles and types her usual answer, but before she can hit send…

**Kara:**

_You say ‘noting’ and I’ll buy one of each._

_Or whatever the pharmacist tells me to take._

_Or I’ll just ask Alex._

Lena sighs. Of course.

**Lena:**

_Fine. I need something to stop me from getting sick._

_If you can manage to bring that, I’d appreciate it._

She sets the phone aside and tries to get some sleep. She’s fully aware it’s pointless, she’s way too aware of her own discomfort to get any rest, but she has tried virtually everything else, so she’s out of options.

She doesn’t know how long it passes, but next thing she knows, her phone is making that dreadful ringing noise again.

“What?” She groans to the phone, hoping whoever is calling take the hint.

“Your door is locked.” She heard Kara quiet reply.

_Shit._

“Right.” She ends the call and drags herself to her front door. “I’m sorry.” She says as she opens it to be greeted by the bubbly blonde, who’s balancing way too many bags and boxes.

“It’s ok! Wow, you look like hell.” She comments as she walks into her home. “Your house is awesome!”

“Thank you?” She whispers, smiling, but it doesn’t last long. Not being able to keep anything down all morning has really taken a toll on her and suddenly she feels the room spinning. However, strong arms catch her before she meets the floor.

“Wow, there. How about we get you back to bed?” She hears Kara’s voice very close to her head.

She doesn’t exactly know how, since they’re about the same height and she barely has the energy to move her legs, but Kara basically carries her to her room (after a few whispered instructions from Lena). The blonde then tucks her to bed, and Lena is not sure if Kara doesn’t notice or completely ignores the blush on her cheeks at the action.

“Now.” The blonde starts. “You’re gonna take the meds for the stomach first, with electrolytes. Then, we’ll wait half an hour and you’ll eat. After that, if you can keep the food down, you’ll take the pain medication and stuff.” She rushes back to her bags before Lena can protest.

Not that the brunette is not going to try, of course.

“I can’t even keep water down.”

“That’s what the stomach meds are for.” The blonde rushes back with a pill bottle and a variety of colorful drinks. “Which one do you want?”

She apprehensively takes the orange bottle and the pills and stares at them.

“Are you sure about this?”

“I called my sister. Now, bottom’s up” She orders.

Lena really doesn’t want to throw up again, but what choice does she have? She knows logically, she won’t get better without eating, and she can’t eat, so…

She downs two pills and the entire electrolytes bottle in one go and lies back on the mattress. Maybe it’s not a good sign that she’s breathless already.

“Now, go take a bath while we wait to see if it works.” The blonde orders her out the bed with so much energy she’s getting tired just by looking at her.

After a lot of persuasion and awkward blushing that thankfully goes unnoticed, Lena decides to take her advice.

Much to her surprise, it works. She (reluctantly at first) does everything Kara suggests. And, as the day goes on, although she’s still utterly exhausted, her headache is gone, her stomach is still, and her body doesn’t hurt anymore. She barely leaves the bed all day, but Kara, the ever sweetheart she is, brings her everything she needs. By the end of the night, they’re both sitting on her bed, two greasy familiar sized pizzas on their legs, laughing at a video compilation of Cat Grant being… well, Cat Grant.

“How did you find this?” Lena asks between laughs.

“Winn made it for the office.” She shrugs. “Cat doesn’t know, of course.”

“I figured, as Winn’s breathing and still has all his members firmly attached to his body.” She quips as she takes another slice.

The compilation is maybe 8 minutes long, but Lena notices Kara is in about half of it, either in the background, getting sassily ordered around or being yelled at.

“I’m sorry, but I still don’t understand how you can stand her. She’s awful to you. Look!” The brunette points at the TV, where Kara is seen bowing her head as she mercilessly mistreated by the imposing media mogul.

“I yelled at her after that.” She comments distractedly.

“What?!” Lena waits for the scene to unfold, but the image cuts to black instead.

“Yep. I had a fight with Alex and was frustrated that day. And Cat was in one of her off days too, so she was being particularly cruel and I just… got angry.” She shrugs.

“Got angry? At Cat Grant? And you lived to tell the tale?”

“Alien, remember?” She laughs, flexing her surprisingly muscled arms.

“Still. It’s Cat Grant.” Lena insists as she tries her best to conceal the effect of said arms on her.

“She was actually very nice after. You know, in a Cat Grant way. I had been working there for over six months, I was thinking of quitting, but then, she talked to me. Actually talked, like she was concerned. She gave me good advice and the day off. It was the first time I got a day off.”

“You shouldn’t feel any obligation to work for someone abusive just because they’re nice sometimes.”

“She’s not abusive.” Kara argues, but, much to Lena’s surprise, she doesn’t sound defensive. She smiles and turns to Lena, extending her the pizza box. “She’s tough and difficult, and definitely a pain sometimes, but I think she cares. She never went that far ever again, and it wasn’t the last time we had those conversations. I feel like we sort of adapted to one another.”

“Then, why were you surprised she decided to publish your article?”

“I didn’t think I was… there yet. I’m kinda scared I won’t be her assistant anymore.”

“You wanna be her assistant forever?” Lena laughs, in disbelief.

“I don’t know, I…” She sighs.

“You’re scared.” The brunette realizes.

Lena had seen Kara somewhat scared before. But back then, she had been scared of Cat Grant herself, which is, in her mind, very understandable. Kara has always been so confident. She never thought the blonde would be the type of be afraid of success.

“I don’t know, I… I like my life as it is. I like what I do.”

“You can’t fear change, Kara. Change is unavoidable in life.” She instinctively skootches closer to the blonde against her better judgment.

“I don’t feel ready to write articles.”

“How do you feel when you saw your words published? And I don’t mean just your article. I’m talking about your paragraphs, your corrections, little add-ons Cat made you do. How does it feel to know your words are read by people?”

The blonde bashfully smiles. That’s all the answer she needs.

“You can’t be afraid of your own ambitions, Kara. Specially not when you reach them.”

“What if I failed? I really don’t wanna fail on this…”

“Why do I feel like this isn’t just about fear of failure?”

“It’s… Remember when I told you my cousin was here too?” She continues once Lena nods. “Well, he’s a journalist. He’s not that good, his wife does most of the heavy lifting… eh, money wise, I mean. But he’s convinced he’s the reason I’m trying to become a reporter.”

“He sounds a bit pretentious, if you ask me.” Lena comments before thinking of something. “Is he right?”

“No, I… Back home, in my planet, I was really into science. But then I came here and realized how boring your science is.”

“Hey!” She nudges the blonde playfully.

“No offense.” Kara blushes. “But yeah, I was bored out of my mind in science classes. But English, history, art? Those were all new to me.”

“You didn’t have art in your planet?”

“Well,” The blonde hesitates, before deciding on a proper answer. “We did, I guess, but… Art there is seen differently. It’s not an expression, it’s more of a practical thing. Literature isn’t fiction. There’s beautiful architecture, but no art museums, street art, music, not the way you have here. Every piece of art has a purpose to it. It’s almost formulaic. I liked science instead. It was experimental, it required more creative thinking, and it helped society in ways other subjects couldn’t. My father is a scientist, so I guess I took it from him.”

“And that changed when you came here?” She guesses. It’s understandable, Lena thinks. The person she admired, her hero, probably, sent her away in a ship with no care whatsoever. No wonder she wanted to distance herself from that pain.

She can relate too well.

“I became fascinated with human culture. It’s full of charisma and creativity. My therapist suggested that I do art to cope, and it worked.” The blonde shrugs as coping with trauma was the simplest thing.

“What kind of art?”

“Painting, mostly. I’m not sure karaoke counts.” She laughs.

“What made you go to journalism, then?”

“I joined the school paper.” Kara smiles brightly at her. “I basically fell in love with it. I didn’t want to pursue it because of my cousin, but Alex knocked some sense into me, I guess you can say.”

“Good on Alex.”

“So, you can thank her for us meeting.”

_I really do._

They keep talking and eating pizza and slowly slide closer and closer together. As Lena’s exhaustion starts catching up to her, her head finds comfort in the blonde’s shoulder and she’s too embarrassed, relaxed and exhausted to acknowledge it. Kara doesn’t seem to mind, however, wrapping her left arm around Lena’s shoulders and snugging closer. As time goes on, they slide more and more below the cozy mountain of blankets and their conversation becomes more and more incoherent. Lena’s just about to fall asleep when she hears Kara’s faint whisper against her hair.

“What if you have a soulmate?”

It’s almost enough to pull her back from her slow path to sleep.

Almost.

“I don’t.”

“What if they just stopped feeling pain?”

“Not a thing.” She whispers against her chest, trying her hardest to not escape their little bubble. She doesn’t want to think. She wants to relax into Kara’s arms and pretend soulmates isn’t a thing and that Kara isn’t actively looking for hers.

“Would you be mad if it was a thing?” The blonde insists, nonetheless.

“I don’t know.” She never really thought about it. If her soulmate were actually walking around, completely free of their own pain, but feeling hers… well, would they know? Would they think about the consequences of their condition on their soulmate? _Mad_ isn’t exactly the word… disappointed, maybe?

If she’s honest with herself, she can’t picture herself with a soulmate. If she’s even more honest, much like when she met Jack, she wished her soulmate were someone she knows. And not some poor person who died at a young age. She wouldn’t want a stranger she never chose to just swoop her off her feet as if the universe predetermined what’s best for her. She’d want to meet someone. She’d want to talk, get to know them, grow with them, fall in love, maybe. She’d want it to be her choice, not some cosmic power.

Kara unexpectedly tights her hug under the covers.

“I’m sorry. Goodnight, Lena.”

She hopes morning never comes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yeah, that was that. i hope you liked it.
> 
> Next one is probably gonna be on Lena too. I'm still not sure, though.


	9. Kara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i don't know. stuff happens. big stuff. and Clark is a dick in this fic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was hard to write. i'm stressed, a lot of sruff as happening, people are stupid... it's been a lot. i've never writen pseudo action scenes before, it's not great, but there ya go. i hope you like it.

Kara carefully walks into the convention center behind her boss.

NC Tech convention. Arguably one of the biggest tech events in the country. Everyone tripping over themselves to announce their latest breakthrough, and every journalist that was anyone in the business struggling to jump from panel to panel as fast as possible to have their articles out in a matter of hours.

As for Cat Grant?

Well, obviously, Cat worked by different rules. For the last 3 weeks, Kara had received e-mails of just about every company and start-up that would be making an appearance, showing their projects and detailing how it “would be an honor” to have the queen of all media in the audience.

“Make a schedule and pick whatever you find worthy of my attention.” Kara was ordered.

And so she did. She recruited Winn, who looked like a kid on Christmas in anticipation for the big event, and carefully crafted their itinerary, along with a detailed binder of every single one of the selected products and respective creators.

Cat’s subtle but proud smile as she dismissed her was worth it, though.

As she walks though the floor, she can’t help but to be amazed by the magnitude of it all. Giant screens, impressive computers, everything was light and sound and excitement. Men in suits all try to capture the attention of the attendees, and long lines form in from of the latest gaming equipment that Kara couldn’t care less about.

Maybe Winn could enjoy that, since, as a thank you, she recommended him to cover the gaming genre of the event (which caused a gratitude meltdown on the man himself when he was told).

“Where to, Keira?” Her boss asks, visibly frustrated.

“Hall F, Miss Grant.” She nervously points to the left. As they go through the crowd, she looks at the giant billboards, where Lena’s face is plastered on, announcing some sort of new medical device, and she can feel her guilt increase.

It’s been over a month. A month since she figured out Lena was her soulmate. A month of trying (and miserably failing) to tell Lena, or at least convince her that she may still have a soulmate.

A month of Kelly hiding the truth from her best friend, which she wasn’t happy about. At all. And she made it clear the week before.

“Tell her, Kara, or I will.” She warned her. “I know you’re scared, but there’s a point where fear becomes cowardness, and you’ve crossed it a while ago.”

“I just haven’t found the right moment.” She tried to justify, but to no avail.

“It’s never the right moment. I’m tired of lying to her. Gain some balls and talk or I will.”

She hasn’t exactly been avoiding Lena, but every time she comes close to blabber out the words…

She couldn’t. She was too scared.

_Which proves Kelly right, I guess._

Before she knows it, the speaker of the panel she hadn’t even realize started is finished.

“Any questions?”

Kara gets up once she’s done and is too distracted saving Miss Grant’s notes in the right binder to notice the big man in front of her.

“Oh. Sorr…” She stops herself once she notices who it is.

_God damn it._

“Hey, Kara. Miss Grant.” Clark politely nods to her boss.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Lois Lane’s assistant.” Cat quips, much to Kara’s satisfaction.

“Good to see you too, Miss Grant.” He replies politely.

_God, he’s annoying._

“What brings you here, Mr. Kent?”

“Probably the same as you, Miss Grant.”

“Well, that much is obvious, isn’t it? You’re wearing a press badge. I’m not blind, Mr. Kent.” She responds as Kara poorly contains her giggle. “Now, if that’s all you have to say, we have more important matters to attend.”

“Actually, can I have a word with your _assistant._ ” He pronounces the last word intentionally, like it’s some sort of offense.

Cat stars at him for a few seconds before conceding.

“You have five minutes, Kiera. Hurry up.” She orders, giving her a pointed look before leaving.

“So,” He whispers after her boss leaves. “You’re hanging out with a Luthor.”

It’s not a question. It’s an affirmation filled with judgment a reproval.

“So?”

“Does she know?”

“Yes. For month now.” She confirms with a steady voice. She’d like to say she’s not scared of his judgement, but she’d be wrong. Clark has a way of infiltrating her brain with guilt and regret like no other.

“You should be more careful with who you trust…”

“Why do you care?”

“Her brother has very strong opinions on superman and wh…” She rolls her eyes.

_Of course it’s about him._

“Well, she’s not her brother, is she?” Kara snaps back.

“You don’t know that.”

“ _You_ don’t know that. I have to work.” She attempts to end the conversation then and there. But before she can leave, he grabs her by the arm.

“I don’t like the article you wrote about her. It seemed too flattering.”

“I don’t care!” She says between teeth as she pulls back her arm. “It wasn’t for you to like.”

“Was it for her to like?”

“Fuck you, Clark.”

She turns her back before he has the chance to add anything else.

God, she hates Clark Kent. Why does he have to be here anyway? Why does he always insist on commenting an everything in her life?

She doesn’t struggle much to find her way back to Miss Grant. She sits next to her boss in the front row once again and hurries to find the correct notes on whatever product is next.

“Are you ok, Kiera?”

“Yes, Miss Grant. Of course!” She does her best to smile confidently. Cat nods but decides to add something else.

“Do me a favor. Do not waste your time debating the incoherent and self-righteous words of Mr. Kent. The few words of him that are worth debating most likely are not his own.”

“Yes, Miss Grant.” She tries to be more sure in her words, but she’s not quite sure it works.

The truth is Clark is always at the back of her mind. He made sure of it as she grew up. Despite refusing to take care of her when she arrived, he still would judge her choices of friends, hobbies (“Your paintings bring nothing of value to the world” He had said once when she told him about her therapy), even professional paths. He had refused to help her get a job when she was fresh out of college, but still criticized her when he found out she was working for Cat Grant (“An assistant’s job is demeaning, Kara. And you won’t last a day anyway.”). He was self-centered and selfish, she knew that.

But being under his scrutiny is an uncomfortable pressure she’s been under her entire life on earth.

Not to mention how he started treating her when he decided to start playing God and created Superman and a way to fuel his ego. It created a weird dynamic between them, where he discouraged her doing that same, but berated her for not doing so as well.

Clark Kent being at the convention only increases her unsteadiness.

They go through a couple more panels before lunch. Kara lets her binder fall three separate times and almost mix the notes she was supposed to give to Miss Grant twice, and she can barely pay attention to the people on stage presenting this life changing technology capable to change society.

_Today is not my day._

Luckily, she manages to pull through and _thank God_ she didn’t forget to book a private table at Cat’s favorite restaurant in the area, on the luxurious top floor of one of the fanciest buildings in national city, by the sea.

But she can’t focus on the food, no matter how delicious it is.

Lena is all she can think about.

It doesn’t help that she knows the woman in question is on the other side of the room. Lena doesn’t know, but her voice was the first thing she noticed when she walked into the top floor. She’s with Kelly and two men, and she can’t understand a word out of Kelly’s mouth, but she seems very excited. All she can think about is how she wants to go there and say hello and make Lena laugh a little. God knows she needs it after the stressed couple weeks she’s been having, getting everything ready for the convention.

Before her epiphany, she hadn’t realized how much she loved spending time with her, in a different way than her other friends. In the last month, she found herself more than willing to skip game night to spend the evening trying to convince Lena that musicals are the best movie genre ever. She would buy all the food from her favorite places and they’d hang out and talk for hours without even noticing. She’d feel stressed when Lena didn’t reply to her texts by dinner time, because she knew it was because she was working for fourteen hours straight and her phone died without her noticing.

She cares about Lena more than she ever cared for anyone. Well, except maybe for Alex…

She wants to tell her so badly…

_How am I even gonna do that? Would she even believe me?_

“Kara.” Cat brings her back from her thoughts.

“Yes, Miss Grant. I’m sorry.”

“I’m going to ask this once.” She warns, and Kara is scared. Properly scared. “I’m not going to repeat myself and god help you if you tell another soul we had this conversation.”

“Yes, Miss Grant.”

“What’s going on with you?”

Kara blinks a few times as she tries her hardest to process her words.

Unsuccessfully.

“I… What?”

Cat just rolls her eyes.

“Was I not clear before?”

_Not repeating herself._

“Right. I’m sorry. Nothing’s wrong, really.”

“Oh, don’t give me that!” She rolls her eyes once again. _She does that a lot, doesn’t she?_ “I don’t care enough about your likes and tastes, but one thing I know is that a platoon’s worth of food can only feed you for a day, tops.”

Kara blushes.

_Why does everyone have a problem with me eating?_

_Well, everyone except…_

She lowers her eyes and fidgetily adjusts her glasses.

“Eh… it’s personal, Miss Grant.”

“Oh, please, like you don’t know my darkest secrets already. Is this about your cousin? I told you to pay him no mind.”

“Wait, what?!” She all but shouts. _How the hell does she even know we’re cousins?_

“Please, Keira, it’s too obvious.” She dismisses Kara’s shocked face with a wave of hand. “Is that what’s bothering you?”

“No, eh… it’s not him.” She decides to give in. “It’s… I need to tell a friend something. I don’t know how they’ll react.”

“You’ve been putting that for how long?” She asks, with what looks like genuine care.

“For… about a month?”

“Keira, that’s not acceptable. You’re too smart not to know that it’s only going to get harder.”

“I know, but… I just don’t want to hurt them.”

“What you want to tell them, does it go away? Does you telling them become irrelevant with time?”

“No.”

“Then, what are you waiting for? Go rip off the band aid.”

“I will, Miss Grant.” She nods.

“I meant now, Keira. Go! So I can have my lunch in peace without your sad puppy eyes. It’s depressing.”

“Yes, Miss Grant.” She gets up in a hurry as she notices that Lena is now with only Kelly at her table.

_Does she…? No, she can’t know. It’s not possible._

She turns around to their direction, but can’t help but to walk slowly.

_What am I gonna say? “Hey, I’m your soulmate and the reason you hadn’t felt pain in years is because I haven’t either!”_

_No, I can’t say that._

_“Lena I really care about you and I need to be honest. Just bear with me.”_

_Yeah, that’s a good start. What else?_

However, she doesn’t make it, as the building starts to shake violently.

_Oh no._

All around her, windows shatter in all directions. People panic and urge for the stairs.

_Lena. Where’s Lena. Where’s Kelly?_

But before she has a chance to run to her friends, she hears a piercing scream.

“Miss Grant!” She takes off her glasses and bolts in her boss’s direction without a second thought. She covers her with her body an instant before the top beam hits her boss.

“Kara…”

“Go!” She can’t help but to yell.

But she doesn’t wait to see if Cat obeyed her ( _Oh god, I’m so dead._ ) as she heats visions a large piece of ceiling coming down on another patron who tripped.

She hurries as many people out as possible, but everything becomes overwhelming in seconds, even for her. There’s dust and noise everywhere, screams and cries fill what was once a luxurious room with few of the sea. She runs around the room, lifting metal beams and walls that fell from the ceiling. She uses her heat vision to cut through anything that seems too unstable to touch. She looks around for her boss and friends and fortunately doesn’t seem to find them anywhere.

_They’re safe. Good._

The floor rumbles under her.

_Not good._

Next thing she knows, she’s falling all 5 stories as the floor breaks beneath her.

Into a fire.

“Of course there’s a _fucking_ fire!” She yells in exasperation. Where is Clark when you need him?! _I can’t freeze breath! You like to be praised as a hero! Show up!_

She proceeds to help people out without thinking. If Clark isn’t here, someone else has to help these people. She’s fireproof, but most aren’t as lucky. She uses her heat vision to blast through the thick cement walls, much to the surprise of the coughing woman she’s helping up. She then proceeds to manually remove all the debris so a path to escape can be open.

Even with all the boulder moving and heat vision, it takes her a while to be out of breath.

_Wait. Why am I out of breath? Why do my eyes hurt?_

Though, she doesn’t have much time to dwell over is as she sees a man stuck below a beam.

She can faintly hear the firefighters on the outside, so goes back to blast through what remains a cement wall to get closer. She runs to what she assumes is the exit, but as she gets there…

_Oh, fuck…_

What used to be an exit is now blocked by a mix of the glass and reinforced steel that used to make up the gateway of the building. In front of it, a crowd gathers, either trying to get out or just resting, as the entrance of the building, while in ruins, isn’t on fire and completely covered in smoke. To her left, she can finally see her friends as well as her boss. Cat is yelling at people for trying to push their way through the glass while Kelly and Lena are providing first aid, and she can’t help but to feel a little proud of who she chose to surround herself with.

_They’re the best._

She gauges around for where the weakest spot on the entrance is and runs to the right where people have scattered from due to all the rumble from the rotary saw.

She starts blasting the giant beam the firefighters are cutting from the other side with her heat-vision. It’s tougher than she thought. After a few seconds, it starts to glow orange and slowly, painfully, getting cut through. She screams out of pain and frustration, the cheer energy necessary leaving her exhausted.

But she can’t fail. These people need help, they need a way out and that saw would’ve taken hours to go through the thick metal.

So, she pushes through. No matter how much her eyes hurt. No matter how much effort is being required, more effort than she ever thought had energy for. No matter how much her body, and especially her eyes, are begging her to quit. She pushes on.

When it finally breaks, she falls to the ground, not an ounce of strength left in her.

But that fact doesn’t have time to scare her, as the entire structure on the right side gives in and she only has time to cover her head against the rain of glass and steel. Most bounces off her skin without causing much damage, until a larger bolder that was only being hold by the beam gets lose and hits her arm. She screams in pain. She’s not used to pain. She hasn’t felt it in years.

She’s suddenly aware of herself when she hears a familiar voice twisted in a strangled cry.

She’s feeling pain.

And so is Lena.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you liked it. please, give me some feedback. how can i improve my writing? what am i doing wrong?  
> thanks for reading.  
> i haven't decided what to do after, sorry. :S ':D
> 
> Edit: i should've been clearer. i'm probably gonna edit the last few paragraphs. Kara solar flared, like she did against the android in s1, from using her heat vision too much. she doesn't know it because it never happened before, like on the show. i should've give it more tension. i'll try to fix that. i'm sorry.
> 
> Edit 2: i added a few things, made the Clark part less pointless. Hope it helps clearing some things up.


	10. Lena

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small angsty confrontation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was really hard to write. i think it's too short, but i did my best. fair warning, it's not great. i was halway into writing the next one before i realised it should be 2 different chapters.

Lena sits beside Kelly and Clark Kent just outside Kara’s hospital room. She would’ve left long ago if it weren’t for Kelly’s insistence, but now, as Kent glares at her ever so often, she stubbornly refuses to leave.

In retrospect, she should’ve guessed. All the clues were screaming the answer to her for… she doesn’t really know how long, but it hurts to really think about it any further, so she doesn’t.

Kara is kryptonian. Like Superman, who, turns out, is the cousin that sounded like an asshole from the moment Kara describe him.

_At least that tracks._

But him being an absolute dick isn’t exactly what’s annoying about the man.

Saying her brother had a problem with Superman was an understatement. To counter his extreme views (and also because of it, Lena now realizes), Clark Kent was one of his harshest critics. Lena thinks that’s fair. After all, Lex is indeed a very real threat to aliens all around the world. What isn’t fair is how Kent decided that the entire family, business empire and any and all associates were as guilty as the man himself, despite him not being involved in most of the actual business side of things.

Clark Kent pisses her off, so it’s a small victory that her mere presence is pissing him back.

She’s here to talk to Kara, though, and that alone. She should focus on that, not on petty journalists and their pet peeves.

Alex calls them in after a few minutes of awkward silence. They both get up and walk in while purposefully ignoring each other as Kelly stays put, and she’s sure she _heard_ her friend rolling her eyes.

“She’s fine.” The doctor informs them. “It’s just a broken arm. I already gave her a sermon, no need for yours.” She adds, pointing at Kent.

“Can I have a word with her in private?” He asks, appearing polite, but the fact that he blatantly ignored every single word Kara’s sister said leave Lena with a sour taste in her mouth. _How rude can this guy be?_

“No.” Alex states firmly, but the blonde has different ideas.

“It’s fine.” She whispers in an indifferent voice.

She’s sitting on the bed wearing a hospital gown and looks the most fragile Lena has even seen her. Her arm is in a navy cast on the side of her body, but that’s not what shocks her the most.

Kara is bruised. She knew this already, of course. Her own face feels sore and painful. But she didn’t realize how bad it actually is. The left side of her face is all black and blue and she has a couple of scratches stitched up by her cheek. She looks tired and… nervous?

“I can talk to him.” She continues weakly.

Alex nods and leaves, but not before throwing a deadly glare in Kent’s direction. He turns to Lena, as if waiting for her to leave too, but her eyes are on Kara alone, waiting directions.

“Whatever you gotta say to me, you can say it in front of her.” Kara confirms to him, her voice sounding determined for the first time.

“I’m not saying _anything_ in front of a _Luthor_.” He spits out.

Lena tries her best to contain her tongue. He doesn’t deserve her anger.

_I’m not going anywhere, you imbecile._

“Then leave.” The blonde shrugs, not showing an ounce of emotion despite the pang Lena immediately feels on her shoulder. She lifts her eyes, but not to look at him. Her bright blue eyes stare intensely at Lena, as if begging for the brunette to read her mind.

“Excuse me?!”

“Clark, your lectures aren’t my priority right now. Say with you want to say or leave. I’m fine either way.” She doesn’t even dignify him with a glance.

“I’ll come back when you’re alone, then.” He says like it’s a threat and angrily steps out from the room.

“He seems charming.” She comments as he disappears from their field of vision.

“He’s a self-centered dick.”

“Does it run in the family?” Kara cringes with her words.

She doesn’t intend to be so harsh. She wants to understand, but her brain can’t find an answer that doesn’t break her heart. Someone she thought was her closest friend lied to her, for god knows how long.

Of course Kara has the right to her secrets, but this? This implicates her, her life. It’s probably not Kara’s fault, knowing her, she probably didn’t realize her soulmate wouldn’t feel anything because herself wasn’t either.

But then she had to know, right? Lena isn’t exactly clumsy, but she does get hurt every now and then.

So, if her best friend knew, why did Lena had to find out on her own?

Everything had happened too fast. One second, she was celebrating a business deal with Kelly and the next, she was dragging the panicked woman out of a crumbling restaurant. Everything around them was chaos and mess. They managed to get to the entrance and, as it was in shambles with no possible escape, they decide to help the wounded until actual help came.

She thoroughly admires Kelly on that. Despite the state of utter terror the woman was in, she still put others in front of herself. Lena hadn’t been as scared, maybe because she’d never been in a life-or-death situation before, so thinking clearly came easier to her, but she could see the effort Kelly was putting into remaining calm and collected as she reassures the scared crowd around them, and that’s outstanding in Lena’s eyes.

She then noticed the strange blue light to her right. And the exhausted scream that came shortly after.

On the far end of the entrance, she saw what could only be describes as Kara shooting laser beams out of her eyes. Next thing she knows, her friend falls to the ground as the unstable structure falls on her. She would’ve run to aid her friend if it wasn’t for the shooting pain that assaulted her arm all the sudden.

But her arm was fine. In fact, her arm is in full function despite the slight pain it’s still in.

“How long have you known?” Lena asks coldly as she nervously walks around the room. She doesn’t want to look at Kara anymore. She makes a point not to.

Kara had to know, she decides. The blonde not knowing would make no sense. Kara could _feel_ her. She knew last week for sure, when Lena burned her tongue on a slice of pizza. She certainly felt her stressed induced headaches, her cramped feet from being in high heels all day… Kara isn’t stupid. She would’ve connected the dots.

“Even since you were sick.” The blonde whispers submissively.

She turns her back the woman. She can’t let her know how much it hurts her.

“Lena, I’m s…”

“Why?” She asks in a low voice in hopes of hiding the trembling in it.

“Why?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t know how. I didn’t want to hurt you, Lena.”

She laughs humorously. It’s like an epiphany, a light bulb that turns on as Kara’s words are processed in her brain.

_Now, it makes sense._ She can only chastise herself for being so egocentric to think someone would want anything of that nature with her. Even her soulmate.

She’s heard of some cases. Of soulmates who aren’t attracted to one another, hate each other even. It’s extremely rare and usually only happens when one or both of the involved are part of a mind-bending cult or endure some deep emotional trauma, but who knows? Kara is an alien. Anything is possible with an alien. Lena is perfectly aware that she’s not what Kara expected, she was never deluded to that point, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.

“I was so scared.” The blonde continues in a shaking voice. “I didn’t know what to do, and I kept avoiding it because I didn’t know how you would react, if you’d blame me or…”

“So, you thought hiding it would solve the problem?”

“No!” Kara sounds almost desperate as she stares at Lena with wide eyes, as if begging. “I was gonna tell you, I was! I’m sorry it was taking so long.”

“Are you sorry you didn’t tell me or that I found out?” She asks harshly. It’s not Kara’s fault, she logically knows that. Kara can’t choose to whom she’s attracted to. But her logical side is taking a step back right now, and her pain and sorrow take that lead.

“Lena…”

“I’m glad you’re ok.” She interrupts in a monotone tone before leaving, completely ignoring the desperate sounding calls from the blonde, or Kelly’s calls when she passes through her. She can’t let anyone see the tears that stream down her face as she walks off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you liked it.  
> Next one will be in Lena POV as well.  
> please tell me what i can improve.


	11. Lena

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Lena being Lena.
> 
> And Kelly being her usual awesome.

She doesn’t talk to anyone for days after the earthquake. She ignores Kelly’s calls, dismisses Sam when Kelly resorts to her, she even revokes hers and Kara’s walking in privileges, to be sure she is left alone. She pours all her energy into her work.

_I should’ve known better_ , she chastises herself. Known what? She’s not quite sure. It’s not like she was waiting for her soulmate to come kicking around. But somehow, Kara being her soulmate and not wanting her… is worse. She was fine with unrequited love. She delt with it her entire life. She was ok with Kara looking for someone else, that was to be expected and all she wanted was for her friend to find her happiness. But that someone being her and still not being wanted? It stings. It more than stings, it’s humiliating, it’s disheartening. How bad of a person is she that her own soulmate doesn’t want her?

No time to dwell on that, though. She has to rearrange the convention; fix the damage to the center; arrange to help rebuild the downtown businesses that collapsed; donate to the hospitals overflowing with lost and injured people; call the leaches of the insurance companies and scared them into paying what they owe to her company and employees.

“Mr. Adams, I don’t care if your insurance wasn’t expecting Miss Marcus’s car to get squashed by a building during an earthquake. It did, and she paid for your services to get the value of her vehicle back. I expect her to receive what she paid for, am I clear?” She calmly states on the phone as she types the last few corrections for the report on the rescheduling of the event.

“Miss Luthor, you see, as of the moment, you company has more liquidation than ours. Perhaps…”

“I’d advise you to not finish that sentence, Mr. Adams.” She interrupts. “I won’t take part in your exploitation of scared and distraught people, nor will I cover your debt. Pay Miss Marcus and all my other employees what you owe, or the next call will come from my lawyers.” She hangs up before the weasel has time to respond.

She looks at the clock.

6:03 pm.

_One more day not going home._

She isn’t proud of herself for it. She’s exhausted and her head is pounding. She’s aware what she’s dreading is inevitable. Eventually, she’ll have to go home.

And she knows, she just knows, that she’ll cry herself to sleep. Or drink herself to sleep. One of the two.

She takes another painkiller. Her head has been killing her ever since Kara got hurt. It’s probably the lack of sleep. Or the stress. Or the sorrow. Her head definitely has a lot of reasons to be complaining today.

“Miss Luthor?” She hears Eve’s voice over the com.

“Yes, Eve.” She can’t muster more than a whisper.

“Kelly Olsen is asking to meet you.”

_Crap._

She really doesn’t want to talk to Kelly right now.

Not two seconds later, her phone rings.

“Kelly, I’m working.” She warns once she picks up.

“You’ve been working for three days straight, Lena. I need to talk to you. Please, don’t run from me.”

Lena sighs.

She can’t avoid them all forever. She knows that. She just hoped she could avoid them a little longer.

“You can send her in.” She instructs the assistant through the com. “And go home. I’m sorry I didn’t dismiss you earlier. I lost track of time.”

“Yes, Miss Luthor. Thank you. Good night.”

“Good night, Eve. See you tomorrow.”

After a couple of minutes, she hears a soft knock on her door.

“Can I?” Kelly asks softly.

“You’re not really giving me a choice, are you?” She weakly quips.

As her friend walks in, she gets up to pour herself a cup of scotch.

_Drinking myself to sleep it is._

“How are you feeling?”

“Great.” She laughs bitterly, raising her recently filled drink. “Just peachy.”

“Lena…”

“Did you know too?”

“Yes.” She admits.

“So, you all just decided I shouldn’t know.”

“Oh, c’mon, be honest. Would you believe me if I told you?” Her friend confronts her as she sits on her couch.

“I…”

_No._

Truth is she wouldn’t. If she’s being honest with herself, she wouldn’t even believe Kara if she hadn’t felt her pain.

“Come sit down with me. Please.”

She takes the bottle and cup with her and sits in the opposite end of the couch.

“What do you wanna talk about?” She lazily asks as she takes another sip.

“Please, don’t insult my intelligence.”

“Kelly, I’m too tired for deep conversations. If that’s why you came here, I’m sorry but I can’t.”

“I came here because I’m worried about you. You haven’t left your office in days.”

She laughs. She doesn’t even bother asking how she knew. Kelly is one of the smartest people she knows, and one of the people that knows her the best.

_I’m just that predictable, I guess._

“I’ve been working. The earthquake left quite a mess; in case you haven’t noticed.”

“Lena…”

“I have to call insurance companies, investors, contractors, there are employees in the hospital that need financial help, I have to reschedule the event, answer reporters, I have dozens of companies that lost their prototypes…”

“Lena.”

“I barely have time to go to the bathroom, much less…”

“Lena.”

“What?!”

“You’re crying, honey.”

“Wha…” She raises her head to her cheeks.

They’re wet. Kelly is right. But why is she crying? A shocked sob escapes her lips. And another. And another after.

Kelly rushes over and puts her arms around her protectively.

“It’s ok, Lena.” She comforts her, rubbing her back. “Let it out. The city can survive a few hours without your input.”

So, she does. For the next few minutes, she lets it all out. All her frustrations, humiliations, fears and sorrows leave her body along with her tears. All her pent-up pain turns into stains Kelly’s auburn jacket. She doesn’t know how long she’s remains held by her friend, but after a while her ugly sobs turn into hiccups, and she leans back to her end of the couch and Kelly sits back in hers.

“Do you feel better?” Her friend asks.

“No.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Not really, but I probably should.”

“Yes, you should.”

However, she doesn’t. She shamefully looks down at her drink. She can’t bring herself to talk. Her chest was bursting at the seams. She doesn’t even know where to start.

So, Kelly changes strategies.

“Our application has been approved.” She starts distractedly.

“That’s amazing, Kelly! Congratulations!” Lena says, now genuinely excited, but also thankful for the distraction.

According to Kelly, they’ve been trying to get approved for adoption for a while. Between some less than helpful social workers on her case, extensive bureaucratic problems and Alex being forced to skip two interviews due to hospital emergencies, the whole process had taken far longer than it was supposed to. After the days she had, hearing her friend and her wife would fulfill their long-awaited dream of becoming mums brings her the utmost joy.

“You’re going to be great parents.”

She said that before. When Kelly was stressed out because of the whole process almost going haywire a couple of months ago. And again, when everything seemed to be on track, and she was freaking out over the prospect of being responsible for another human being.

“So you’ve said. And so did my brother. And Alex’s sister. And her parents. And all our friends. I’m still nervous.”

“You’ll do great, don’t worry.” She reassures her, trying her best to conceal the pang she felt when the _sister_ was mentioned.

_How is she?_

_No, don’t tell me._

_How is her arm?_

_Why do I still feel it?_

_No, I don’t want to know._

“Kara is still hurt.” Kelly informs her as if reading her mind. “She tried to go back to work, but Miss Grant sent her home to rest.”

“Why is she still hurt?” She finds herself asking before her brain has time to process the words.

“According to her cousin, her cells are like a battery. And she ran out. So, it’ll take a little to recharge. But she should go back to being invulnerable soon, don’t worry.”

“Right.” She takes another sip of her drink. She doesn’t want to know.

She wants to know.

“You miss her, don’t you?”

She takes a few more sips before trusting her with the truth.

“I’m worried about my friend.” She confesses. It’s not the complete truth, the complete truth still doesn’t fit in her mouth, but somehow still reliefs her massively. It’s like a weight has suddenly be lifted off her heart.

“Then why don’t you go talk to her?”

“I can’t.”

“Why? And don’t you dare say it’s because you’re scared.”

“I’m not scared, Kelly, I’m hurt! And humiliated.”

“Wait, huh?” Kelly asks, seeming confused. “The hurt part, I get. But humi… Oh, Lena…” She shakes her head as she slides closer.

“Oh, c’mon!” Lena complains. “You can’t possibly know why I feel the way I feel from that alone!”

“You’re either chastising yourself for not figuring it out sooner or you think she didn’t tell you because she doesn’t like you like that. Tell me I’m wrong.” Her friend crosses her arms triumphantly.

_God damn it._ Kelly is too smart for her own good. Or for Lena’s own good, as it seems.

“I don’t like that you can read me like that.” She murmurs, defeated.

“I’m your friend and I care for you. I’m pretty sure you can read me like a book as well.” Kelly reassures her, before her voice turns hard again. “Lena, you know either of those ideas are completely idiotic, don’t you?”

“I have nothing proving otherwise.”

“Look, I know you’re a little bit emotionally insecure, but you’re not blind.”

“What does that mean?”

“Did you know Kara was invulnerable?”

“No.”

“Nobody told you. Yes, that may have been an oversite on our part, but the fact is that you didn’t know. And how could you guess?”

“I knew she was an alien.”

“We both know that doesn’t mean anything.”

Lena looks at the cup in her hand.

“I don’t like to be in the dark.” She whispers.

“I’m sorry we put you in that position.”

“It’s not your fault.” She admits. “It’s…”

“Kara’s.” Kelly finishes, seeming resentful. “Trust me, she got an earful.”

“Thanks.” For the first time in days, Lena laughs. She sighs. “Why didn’t she tell me?”

“She was scared of your reaction.”

“But why? I don’t understand. She knows me, why would she be scared?” Maybe Kara doesn’t know her after all. Or it’s her that doesn’t know Kara…

“Kara is scared of change.” Kelly proceeds to explain. “She always has been. If it were up to her, things would never change. She imagines the worst-case scenario in her head and stresses over it like it’s a sure thing.”

“What’s the worst-case scenario here?”

“You’d be mad at her.”

“But-“

“Lena, I’m not a messenger. If you want answers, go talk to her.”

Lena sighs. She really doesn’t want to do that. She’s still too hurt.

But she knows she has to.

Rip off the band aid, so to speak. She can’t be mad at Kara for what she did if she’s doing the exact same thing.

“Do you want a ride?” Kelly suggests, offering her hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it. :D please comment what i can improve.
> 
> Next will probably be Kara's.


End file.
